Tod's take on the Grace Meeting


ďAll were baptized into Stewart Traill. In every sense of the word: his teaching, his concepts, his view on life, his skepticism of other Christians.†Go and learn what this meansĒ.

Blessed is he and blessed is she who is able to get free from the grip of Stewart Traill and the Church of Bible Understanding, and those who are able to overcome his lies and curses will have a great reward.



by Tod Burros

This is Tod Burros. The Lord instructed us to go line by line on the grace meeting and this is my version. The two main themes I think I am going to find as I do this are how Stewart Traill broke everyone of his own rules repeatedly during this meeting and secondly that we were so broken down from years of abuse that no one really called him on both the huge deception he was doing during this meeting or the fact that he was breaking all his own rules.

It has been 22 years since I was at that meeting and probably 20 since I read the transcript or listened to the tape. I also decided I wasn't going to read anyone else's posted previously on the internet before doing this


(Tod's comments are in blue type)

Stewart: By Grace you are saved never by faith grace You've heard it how often? (a bunch of times) You were in fact, as Gayle pointed out, kept in restraint.
(I know the meeting didn't start here. But boy what a way to start this transcript off. Who exactly kept us in restraint? And why did they do it?)
You were kept under tutors until this day. There is also, in no way to excuse my)...errorThere is also an amazing working of God in all this it's, not to excuse at all...not to excuse me at all.....That's one will have to get into..
(Here is just an amazing job of doubletalk that ST would have never allowed anyone else to make. Can you imagine someone else in Cobu saying well I really screwed up and made an error but there was an amazing working of God in it. How many times did we talk about the eye being clear in Cobu. Not only was Stew always proported to be a clear eye he acted as if he was the only true all seeing eye. And now after about 20 years it is "Oops I missed grace but it was a working of God" What an absolute JOKE this is. Unfortunately for those who suffered under this man this is no joke it was a nightmare

Stewart: Job "Behold you have instructed many and now it has come to you."
(What has come to you? Judgement? Hardly
Never the less if the Son makes you free, you will be free indeed...(thank you Jesus)
(After this meeting I got free from Steve(nickname for Stewie)and was able to truly learn what this verse meant. Free from the grip!

Stewart: A child as long as he is a child is no better than a slave...he is under tutors until the day the father appoints
(In the bible this talks about how we were under the law before Jesus. ST compares being with him for 20 years as being under the law better be glad you were
THIS IS THE CRUX OF THE MEETING AND IT HAPPENS RIGHT AT THE START. STEWART TRAILL IS LETTING EVERYONE KNOW that there really is not going to be any changes allowed no matter what else he says. We have been robbed for 20 years but this villain is saying that we should be glad we were robbed. In other words SHUT UP and be happy that I robbed you!
.and there is this better be glad you were...the alternative is worse..appalling as this is... If I hadn't grabbed you ...what then?
( Yes what if. The great question. The Lord spoke to us a long time ago and said that oppression is worse than cancer. I am firmly convinced in my heart that all ST did after we received Jesus was to enslave us and oppress us. So he gives us a disease worse than cancer. Gee Stew I am sorry I don't know too many fates worse than that. The reason oppression is worse than cancer is that it eats at your eternal condition as well as your human condition. So we were taught a Jesus that wasn't Jesus and we should be glad he grabbed us.

Lastly notice the word grabbed. If he is to be judged as he judged ST would have said here that what has you grabbing someone to do with Jesus? I thought it was God's spirit than we were called to. You get to see behind the curtain of ST's thoughts here. He knows that and is taking credit for not only our coming to God but compares it to being forcibly taken. Very interesting.

((( saved from my own backsliding...I can see in my own life where I was headed, I might bedead...I can honestly say I might be physically dead)))
(This always drives me crazy as it isn't what it is proported. Christians always say this and maybe they would have. But it isn't the point. The point is we had been saved and chose to try and live a godly life. So ST wants credit for saving us from the world only to enslave us to him. Gee thanks bud)
Stewart : Yet as I said all along..but my spirit didn't mean it's not me doing it's God doing it...and it was!
(And if you don't buy this load of garbage I will beat the living daylights out of you)
Stewart: You've all been reading Romans a lot lately(yes)'ve all been reading Romans a lot(yes)..and could not notice this?
Should add this to what ST taught section of website. This is a very typical tool ST used my whole time in. It is a put subtle put down and once again establishes him as the great teacher and us as the hapless idiots who can't see what he sees). Repent one second count yourself better the next. Another can you see ST letting anyone else get away with this moment)

Stewart: well, it is clear that God has decided that it is time for you to transfer your allegiance,
(Wait what!!! Exsqueeze me??? Gee thanks I thought that was what you were supposedly doing all along and is the purpose of any real teacher of God. Rule number one of those who is False from the OT is that if anyone come along and try and get you to have allegiance to anyone but God it is a DEATH SENTENCE and look how lightly he sloughs off 20 years of STEALING our allegiance
if that's the word, from my spirit to
(And he outright admits it and none of us saw it or did anything about it if we did)
His Spirit(yes..thank you Jesus). there are deeply ingrained ideas and feelings..running wild in our fellowship, many of them directly or indirectly can be traced back to my error.
(Yes and will you ever explore them as someone who was truly repentant would do. No he never exposed EXACTLY what these key things are. So it is up to us 22 years later to hear the call of God and to put this website up. This explains in great detail if you are wondering WHY this website exists

Stewart :Everything has to be re-examined. And this is a good time to do it...What has happened is this..this is another set of..some sort of ah ah...some sort of tying my error to your do you think I'm doing Gayle?.....
This is a very odd segue. But notice 20 years of error we need to examine it but not before Gayle makes me feel better about something or other.
Gayle: "I'm not really sure"
..(At the time it did appear to me that Gayle was mad. But of course none of us were ever told what she might be mad about and what if anything ST has done to provoke that anger. Could this be why the meeting is taking place? Don"t know which leaves things open to speculation because ST never did explain it and follow his own teaching that we must come to the light

Stewart: in speaking anyways....

Gayle: no answer.....

Stewart: I have been unable to speak almost right Gayle?

Gayle: yeah

Stewart: It is again only His grace that I am even physically able to speak right now.. that is coherent
(All about him. Poor baby can't speak because he missed grace for 20 years. Yes we should all feel bad for him. What a joke. ...I have been a help in many ways..but have torn down in others...we have come to depend on faith instead of Jesus
(WHAT)(WHAT!!!!!) How can you depend on faith in Jesus and still not be leaning on Jesus? What was your faith in then? Very interesting question huh..) faith....the stress is subtle yes... "it's up to you and your faith" that the idea that you have?(yes)...Somehow I cheerily bounded off with that idea...and the brothers couldn't keep up with me
(BS alert 20 years of tearing down and destroying anyone who questions you and then you make this statement? in His love but it's up to you...somehow...these are absurdities...
(Indeed. We broke our backs and gave all we had to an absurdity)

Stewart: Why did God allow this? You think it must be because of wrong in me...(yeah,muttering)this illness is not unto is for the glory of God... yer saying that kind of thing? Unless...then there's me can this be?
(It is you. You need to step down right now this second 22 years ago) What you are saying is gibberish and nonsense. Trying to justify the unjustifiable. You missed grace and everything else of value and taught it boldly to others so that we all became disciples of your filth many to this day and you are trying to save your reign over the souls left in the building on a cheap technicality. This points out a fundamental flaw of Cobu. That partiality in judgment was rampant. But this is what you get when you live in ST's "ERROR"

Stewart: Furthermore....Furthermore.. let us let us erase this whole meeting now...this has never happened....even so I would not again..forget the wrong... but I was not rightly strengthening the brothers... you don't think so? see you say "oh you've been so much help." go ahead say it...(yeah yes) yet remains it's not true...I haven't been...what then?..
(You leave? Hand back the money nah we can't have that"..)

Stewart: Jesus told the parable...there was a rich man...with a trunk put all kinds of money in...and the woman put one penny what's the point?(guessing) I could cheerily keep going this way I could..I could cheerily keep going..but
(So you admit you could and if anyone else said this you would quickly have pointed out what a "GAME" this is. "Don't you see brothers he is saying he could just keep fooling you if he wanted to"
in affect I was just saying to the brothers..what it comes down to whether I thought I was doing what it comes down to is saying"'s up to gotta be faithful"and so forth. So where is strengthening the brothers the real way? It isn't.
(No Duh)But why are you saying all this I wonder"..It is the unsaid parts of this meeting that are the most interesting

Stewart: Strengthening the brothers in faith that you are his chosen..first and foremost...and I am not my shame. building up on the one hand and tearing down with the other..bull in a china shop..I hear my friend back there....
(Well he got the bull part right but leaves out the excrement)

Stewart: it really has been...and I want you to know something else...are you listening?(yes))
(No you just admitted you were wrong and my life has been a joke for 20 years and somehow I fell asleep. Another typical ST move. Lord forbid we were not giving you our undivided attention for 20 years so you could lead us into error. Yea Steve rah rah rah) you must understand to believe again...this is nothing...there is a real way in which I have been as or more a victim than you
(Almost too outrageous for words) think of didn't waste 25 years...and had he not rescued me as he rescued you a short while ago... I wonder what would have become of was that bad. Getting that bad.

Stewart: ..this has been a stumbling block for all of us including me...poison talk... God gives you what you need to get started and then itís up to youĒ
(At least he admitted this much. When I was not free from the grip I always felt it was up to me. And since I will never be perfect apart from Jesus I always fell short. What Paul talked about that the law just made me more aware of my shortcomings and caused me death. And of course big ole ST there to point it out and teach others to point it out. Faultfinding was and remains to this day one of the cornerstones of what it means to be from Cobu. We were trained in it from birth) my easily everyone is returning easily!(yes). Why is it so easy? They are returning so easy. Because Heís doing it(yes..yeah).And all this error...he is overlooking as it were and bringing us back... but enough is enough.
(Triple talk? Quadruple? He is talking in circles. Again something he would never allow in others) Stewart : Putting to death ďI can do this part over here myself.Ē I can see that working in me. That's what the brothers...and I would forever teach about Samson...and I am the most...and Iím not a hypocrite Iím not a hypocrite
(Would you like me to provide the dictionary definition of a hypocrite? This is textbook. Again can you imagine ST allowing this in anyone else but himself NO!! understand this? (yeah) you donít get that?(yes) How many of you donít? He doesnít. How many donít understand that? Gayle how bout you defend me.. Gayle : because um in teaching about Samson the way that Stewart Stewart: while I just....I did it in ignorance
(So ignorance as a teacher is ok? Obviously. So much for teachers being held to a higher standard. ST is basically once again saying he holds to no standard at all)
Gayle: Yeah the way he was doing it himself... Stewart: a hypocrite knows he was
Brothers and sisters: right yes yeah
(The amen choir strikes again. This is why ST never had to take responsibility. He always got a get out of jail free card and if he didnít he beat everyone until he did. How many left over the years because they questioned ST and were brutalized and left dispirited and crushed??? This explains WHY when he made this missed grace stuff none of us did much. And those who did were quickly silenced as memory says we will soon see)
Gayle: Nobody was telling him ďLook, yer doing it this way..and there was nobody telling him....
(The Queen of free passes speaks)

Sister 1: Nobody tried telling Stewart before? I just find it hard to believe Stewart: Letís hear it.
(Boy am I gonna quash this you just watch)
Sister 1:(I donít want to be judgmental)..
(I am scared to death please donít beat me)
Stewart: yeah Letís hear it
(Oh I got her right where I want her. I am going to allow just enough dissension just to say I did then close that door quick. Now you initiates watch how I do this)

Sister 1: I find it hard to believe ..So many brothers talked about it...I was always under the impression that they wrote you letters and tried to tell you, I mean thatís what I always heard..........and I donít even know the whole truth, but David Wilkerson told brothers and sisters that he tried to talk to you and that you wouldnít listen to him, I donít want to be judgmental, I know I have a lot of faults too..I just think you had to have some pushed everybody away
(Amen sister. How about those who came to meetings over the years from outside and questioned? How about everyone all the way back to Jingo in Allentown who talked about it. This is as obvious a lie as was ever told. And more than that. He is once again saying it is everyone elseís fault. For a guy who just a minute ago spoke about how everything is up to you is the real basis of the fellowship this is a startling and yes hypocritical about face as well as a bald faced lie)
and made it so hard for everyone to talk to you
(My point exactly earlier. We were and most remain scared to death of the wrath of ST. NOT GUILTY I say!!!!!!)

Part 2 of the Grace Meeting

Stewart: And youíre glad I did to, arenít you?
(Ok notice the two step here. First he trips you up)

Sister 1: yeah but I..
(falling from being tripped)

Stewart: Listen..,Letís start over
(And now the redirect and twist. Classic ST) said ďA lot of brothers and sisters think about this..No they donít. They never never never thought that this was bad. No they never thought they thought there was something wrong of course!
(And you know this how oh great and terrible Oz? You never allowed dissension and now you cry that no one spoke to you. Oh boo hoo you would say if anyone else tried this load of garbage)
Of Course! thereís someth.. they didnít think anything of this. And neither did I.
(So God isnít true? As you would have said ďWhat doesnít he have a conscience brothersĒ followed by the amen choir saying YesssÖÖYou actually expect us to believe(and he did and we obliged in our weakened state)that the Holy Spirit was never true and never spoke to you!!! That God didnít send those brothers who you called contentious Christians??? What hogwash.
Now you say didnít anyone try to talk to me. Well friends like him. ďHow you have helped me,Ē and David Wilkerson...well I donít remember..this was 25 years ago?(yeah)
(abysmal) Well if it was 25 years ago then it was ok. And if you donít remember well it is ok. If this was true no one would ever be convicted of any crime. Well your honor I donít remember taking my machete and hacking everyone with it).
And if my old wine is this bad what must the new wine have been?
(It turned many into bitter and disappointed people who gave up on hope because you time and again utterly crushed it with your legalistic hateful rhetoric and pride disguised as pleasing Jesus all the while you cashed our checks and bought yourself toys and houses. The very definition of the wrong Steward hence why we call you Steve because you were never a Steward)
I donít know what I was doing with him...I don't remember anyway .I donít know what I was trying to maybe as bad as him..I donít know.
(Whatever this means. Seems like more gobbledygook to me.

Stewart: there is this also. Me and other Christians. You know that scripture ď Woe to him who is alone when he falls.Ē(yes) Well I know that scripture, you donít.
(Another typical ST move)
I know that now. You donít know what that means. Why am I alone?
(Uh cause you wanted it that way and destroyed all those who were in a position to be in fellowship with you Mr Gold)
Why is it that there is no fellowship between me and other Christians? First of all, I gave up long ago. That was my sincere claim.
(He is saying he is sincere grab for your wallets everyone I smell a theft coming)
But why , what was the trouble in the first place? Perhaps it was..while insisting...perhaps they were trying to land me with I doubt I doubt it. But! it may have been, that may have been the case. Perhaps someone did somewhere, had to have been way back. Perhaps someone did try. Perhaps someone noticed. I have no way of dealing with it. No memory no...
(And do you recall the most galling statement of all. Stewart the bald faced liar was a wolf in sheep's clothes. But if you ever questioned him he would deal you with many blows. Many other Christians used to talk and try to show him things. But Stewart never let them and always said they were playing games! Now some 20 years later ST came to say. Brothers I missed grace and the light wonít you forgive my sins tonight. Then many brethren embraced him and shouted out with glee Stewart our unfaithful leader we will continue in our misery!!!!!!)

Stewart: I repeat what I said , I think if you showed this,(referring to the 12 ways workbook) they would murmur nice things instead of throw up. What do you think?(yes yeah) Well try it! Try whoever want to..
(It was never the written material as much as the day to day teaching. Or as he said in his own words earlier in the meeting ďthere are deeply ingrained ideas and feelings..running wild in our fellowshipĒ So more double talk essentially going on here. Using one point to justify one thing all the while ignoring what was said earlier. Again a double standard for him and always in his favor)

Brother 1: I did show somebody and they thought it was wonderful..

Stewart: I am afraid thatís what would happen...I am afraid thatís what would happen But you know , but you know it isnít right to do really. Because then it is to their shame. Yer just sticking pins in em. And even if you then try to argue and correct them as I might have done 20, 25 years ago tried to do...for an argument , to learn, some such thing....Letís hear some more what you find hard to believe..cuz I do too.
(Here we accidentally find out a little of what motivates this man. Arguing and dissension and the ability to laugh at those who donít understand what he does. This is not Christian and it never was.)

Sister 2: I find it hard to I often...and we all so often say ďBy the Grace of God....and hearing you speak to us...I now see how those words were empty Stewart: thatís right Sister 2: I wasnít conscience of what I was really saying, just what I was taught

Stewart: And who is the emptiest of was devoid, I was unconscious of grace. I really wonder if some of you were more aware of grace than I. I really think so because itís zero with me.
(Jesus was filled with grace and truth(John 1.14) so if you were utterly void of Jesus(cause if you were devoid of grace you were devoid of Jesus) and life abhors a vacuum(and you taught this as well) then what were you filled with all those years?

Sister 3 : I remember too

Stewart: There might as well not been the word in the bible. You never heard me say 2 words. Did you ever discuss grace, anyone of you?(yes) Wait a minute, wait a minute, sheís first anyway, wait a minute, listen , did any of you ,just raise your hand, did any of you discuss grace a year ago and more with anybody? Well then yer way ahead of me!... way ahead right there. Because , to you , the word existed and thatís way ahead of me.
(Ah the appearance of being sincere without being sincere. A very popular Traillism.)
the ( ) are the voices of the brothers and sisters collectively

Sister 3: I remember about 10 years the sisters and brothers in New York found some Brother Monbleau ..Wayne Monbleau..and his whole teaching was based on grace..the grace of God..and they would all talk about the grace of God and everybody there, everybody in New York would like mock them and put them down and ..I really donít know.... that's what I remember
(And where did they learn this mocking behavior? Remember ST said there are wrong ideas running through the group. Mocking what you donít understand is one for sure. This looking down on anyone who spoke of Grace or love in Cobu was always mocked. Told they were being a mother or some other pithy put down)

Bobby Whipple: I just heard him on the radio

Stewart: ehuh?

Bobby: I just heard him on the radio on the way here , I don't know, some of the things he says...

Stewart: And?

Bobby:: He does speak of the grace of God

Stewart: you know something else even more appalling? All these subjects, many of the subjects dealing with Godís grace are in fact fairly accurately dealt with here, everything around grace, but grace doesnít exist..thatís thatís more amazing Godís love is in here all over and Relying on see God was eh ..heh..I guess ah..I guess they are all running out now..itís getting too boring...(nooooo) apparently(no)
(Yea donít relieve your bladders while I am admitting I ruined your view of God for 20 years. What nerve)
Listen..God was revealing to me over some time when I said ya know back Jan 1 when I said ďHe was restoring me too, I didnít know the tenth of it, I didnít know the tenth of it. Nevertheless um Gayle has been reading the bible studies recently, all the bible studies and see how it's working towards grace and the subjects around it.... hard to even say...I donít know what the sessions are...I knew I didnít know what they were...God was bringing us to the real basis.
(This passage makes little sense. However it appears ST is confused and this is bringing everyone to a real basis. What this neglects to say is how many other times over the years a new basis or teaching was all the rage only to fade over time. The one consistent thing through the history of Cobu is ST and the way he shoddily treats everyone.)

Stewart: I was selling righteousness comes from faith...therefore...itís through faith, not from or by

Victor Trapani: I have a question, When I was younger in Jesus I would meet a lot of other Christians and I would hear them talk about this exact thing about the grace of God, and even though they would tell me about it I would say I understood it, it never really clicked until 2 months ago, so I think it was Jesus Himself revealing it to me personally at the time when He chose to

Stewart: All right whenever you say that that you also have to come back to the other side, itís also my spirit pushing it out of you and saying ďdonít listen to thatĒ(yeah..yes)How much of that was it too?(yeah yes) You know there are ways ..different ways to look at it.
(Interesting admission. I agree with this one. ST would push out anything good and find fault and since he had us overcome long ago we just let him rob our peace and joy over and over again)

Stewart: I was selling righteousness comes from faith...therefore...itís "through" faith, not "from" or "by".
(No idea what this means or what he was trying to say. It is almost like God is hiding it from my eyes lol)

Brother 2: I remember I used to read a lot of Charles Spurgeon and heíd talk about grace, and I would just think ď well itís 100 years later Jesus has showed us more now

Stewart: uuugh!

Brother 3:I think he must be in error...ya know thatís what I would thatís what I would think ...somehow ..I would really wonder about what you would say about what he said there

Stewart: How much is it I could clamor and I could gallop and skip along in my merry way and the brothers couldnít keep up with me(a lot a whole lot) It was my merry way..
(Sorry again bud. There was nothing MERRY about your way)
that is in what I was doing wrong...donít forget also..Jesus used me a lot (yes...sure)
(More double talk and BS. Again no one would get away with a line like this with ST.
in spite but it was in spite ....and if that isnít His grace..according to the bible what is?
(Yes God is true to himself. And at times he would work or move according to his nature I believe in spite of ST not because of him.)But to Stewart Traill a true narcissist everything rises and falls with him. He is incapable of having real sentiments or concern for anyone but himself. Everything comes down to how does this affect me and this whole meeting is filled with this)
Stewart: His kindness ya know.. His grace was extended to us while we were enemies...Now, we must really get into grace(yeah yes) I mean really....try this saying...There is something to this...Now Grace, Faith and spirit, small s, these three abide, but the greatest of these is grace....small s....small S eh..weĒll have to get into that.
(More gobbledygook)

A small timeout here. Over my time in Cobu I found there were two types of meetings. The beating meetings we are all familiar with and then the Ra Ra Sis Boom Bah cheerleader meetings. This comment about yea we really have to get into this comment above reminds me of the cheerleader meetings.Often the cheer leading was to get us back into ďthe workĒ. I mean if we were too discouraged we didnít want to scrub rugs now did weÖÖ

Stewart: Wine is treacherous....Now hereís what happens...Letís take those three...Grace, Faith, and spirit...thereís a lot of, are you paying attention, (yes)
(My turn to go Ugg)
Thereís all of churches overboard on spirit matters. You now know of a church overboard on faith...there are in fact apparently, recently I have been inquiring, that there are some overboard on grace, to the extent that they to the extent that they claim to do away with baptism. you know you can be lopsided any way?(yeah)
(Yes but you claimed all along to be the one true church. Anyone who disagreed with you had fire and hell thrown his way.
Nevertheless those 3 exist.... Grace , faith and spirit..all of them are important. And they have to be in the right balance. And they certainly havenít been here
(If you are teaching harshness instead of grace then your tank is empty on all 3 though.)
...and therefore I have no idea, I have no idea in the light of the truth I have no idea about other churches, you know I have to say that...I have no idea...because anyway I would have looked at them, would have been in error. Follow? (yes) spirit had better not be the basis, because itís just an anything goes
(This is a classic over simplification)
..Faith canít be the basis because then itís hard work
(This is completely wrong and shows ST never understood faith despite his words to the contrary. Being a harsh taskmaster and thinking you are Godís best is not faith. Not even close)
. Grace is the basis. Itís not on the basis of works but of grace. Grace must be the basis.
(For someone who said all along he had the one true interpretation this is ridiculous. How do you firmly and harshly demand you know better and then after 20 years fumble to understand or explain simple Christian terms like faith and grace. This shows in that for all his boasting ST never understood or was possessed of the fruits of the spirit. If you donít believe me read them.)

Eph 2:8 For by grace you have been saved through faith; and this is not your own doing, it is the gift of God--

Stewart: Anyways....Romans 10 ď...a zeal for God but it is not enlightened.Ē speaking of the Jews....I have heard it said ďAm I some sort of Old Testament character....maybe thereís something to that
(May I suggest Saul perhaps?)
...being ignorant of the righteousness that comes from God and seeking to establish their own
(Wait I thought you were the all seeing eye and now you say you are ignorant of righteousness? Run everyone RUN!!!) had to be true of some extent...partly the problem ignorance, non-enlightened Samaritan doing both at once....I began speaking about relying on Jesus...The big thing is that you have to remove the phony relying on faith
(This is so insulting. ST never understood faith because faith in God leads you to certain actions ie again the fruits of the spirit of which he himself is admitting he was sorely lacking)
before you could actually rely on Jesus...How much are you relying on Faith?(weak muttering) You see, in other words, hereís another explanation. In some sense or other I have a framework somehow,that I can keep going...does that make any sense?..That you donít have. I wasnít seeing grace,
(Sorry I tuned out for a sec. I only heard Charlie Brownís teacher. Can anyone speak Charlie Brown teacher who can explain this to me)

Stewart : I have heard it said, Am I some sort of Old Testament character maybe thereís something to that..."being ignorant of the righteousness that comes from God and seeking to establish their own"....

Stewart: Nevertheless I could include enough of it in some sort of pseudo-framework to ah..keep going..enough to ah seem it?(yes) How can you rely on Jesus with some sort of ďItís up to meĒ feeling?( canít) a double problem...yanking grace out of scripture...especially out of those three, Grace , faith and spirit...yank grace out....youíve done 2 things, 2 problems. First , youíve removing grace...whatís left is changed...but itís also damaged. You canít yank something out of something without damaging whatís's it's..there are two things...thereís a vacuum....and thereís damage. Do you follow? (yes)You can see that having happened.
(This passage also reminds me of Abbott and Costello. Whoís on first Grace isnít on second and Stew doesnít know is on third) (Yes letís yank Grace out and start again. That sounds like a wonderful idea)

Why did I teach you to rely on Jesus with some sort of ďItís up to meĒ feeling?
(Because you were harsh and uncaring and it suited your needs?Couldnít be that could it)
( canít) a double problem..I.yanked grace out of scripture...especially out of those three, Grace , faith and spirit..I.yanked grace out....Iíve done 2 things, 2 problems. First , Iíve removing grace...whatís left is changed...but itís also damaged. I canít yank something out of something without damaging whatís's it's..there are two things...thereís a vacuum....and thereís damage. Do you understand How I did this? (yes)You can see how I did this?
(The great teacher spinning like a cat chasing his tail)

Stewart: That is , violence has been done to faith and spirit too! And Then
(Do you want to explain this violence thing ST? And what does the bible say about those who practice violence?)
....the actual wrong came in which is relying on the point(sighing) I was are saved by faith, by the way thatís in the summary....itís both. Twice, we are saved by faith, donít you people ever check your bible?(yes)
(Gosh how did we ever put up with this jerk. Yes I said it he is a jerk. Who else would have the nerve in the middle of a confession to blast everyone for not reading their bibles. Of course when we did read our bibles you already said you refused to let us eat the good parts.. Listen to this madness. No wonder we all used to constantly go round and round.)

Stewart: I wonder if you have more appreciation of the working of Godís grace among us now?(yes)
(Thought I would point out again the amen choir. How many times so far did he get a yes out of us similar to how other pastors say can I get an Amen. The King has no clothes but we keep telling him how great his suit looks)
Grace enough to overcome this sin. Where sin abounds , grace abounds all the more. Shall we therefore sin...God knows that I did it in ignorance...I didnít plan this...I assume that you all know that(yes)
(More circular logic and excuse making). Sorry I have to go throw up now. Back laterÖ. Ok back.

Stewart: What about another he said.. without such a foundation..means that there is no framework, there is no sight of the framework....everything is sort of disconnected in a strange feeling kinda way, and every week it is a new direction and teaching and it isnít connected to the foundation, the basis which is grace....which is the way it must be.....minus grace ..all the good things are floating. And how do you ever tie them together? Well you couldnít but I quote could. In some sort of a running on automatic you start to get a picture?(yes) Thereís no confidence
(This stuff reminds me of the ole song we sung as kids. You know the Thigh bone is connected to the leg bone. Except ST has all the bones on the table and doesnít have a clue how to put them together. The mad scientist of Christianity as it were. Again how broken down we were to allow this stuff and keep giving him the amenís.
therefore...confidence is a Big it is written...Ēhow come they never marry.?Ē.....for that one alone I repent
(Uh that is a big one he needs to answer for)As for repentance yeaaa surrrreÖ..This is not repentance for a lot of reasons
...for that one alone....Because you have to be like Stewart first(yeah)....and the amazing marriage that He has given me...which is near per...not me.....Iím far from fact, Gayle is close to perfect
(I believe this is called blowing smoke up someplace private)
...did you ever hear..I heard some of you people say ď Sheís not , sheís like not human.Ē(yes laughing)

Stewart: that marriage itself is nothing but the grace of God. Nothing but. In fact she looked up and found, ď He who finds a wifeĒ, itís very close, by the way, grace , what is grace? weíll have to get into that(undeserved ..undeserved mercy) hold it hold it hold it, that is the stupidest thing there is, I say , with my fervent spirit
(this is a big one. All the time I was in Cobu one of the get out of free cards we gave ST from early on when I was saved was that he was so fervent. I know that brotherís spirit and boy he is fervent ect. I got news for you Hitler was fervent, Some people in the world who we always mocked were fervent for making money, Crazy people are often fervent. If you are not fervent for what is good what are you fervent for?????,
undeserved mercy...that is stupid to talk like that, because mercy is never mercy if it is youíre saying mercy is mercy when youíre saying Mercy is undeserved mercy.....fix your brain..inorder for to be mercy otherwise grace would no longer be order to be mercy it canít be deserved...
(Wow I am tired from running around in circles on that one. Talk about circular logic)

Stewart:or it isnít mercy...What is this stupid undeserved mercy...and that is what people say!!(yeah yeah)Listen doesnít even make sense...just in words.....Oh maybe you do deserve some other kind of you?(nooo)well..what is this? now think about it....You know I havenít lost my confidence is in where it should have been all along but it wasnít
(So you havenít lost your confidence where it should have been but wasnít but you lost it? Did I miss something?
....and therefore I confidently will say that...what is this undeserved mercy? Get your head screwed on! Noo?! (yes) Now think about it... Mercy is mercy is all yer donít get it?(yeyyss..noo)If eh rather eh Grace is mercy..yer saying Grace is mercy yer saying Grace equals mercy and it doesnít....They are two different things....Grace is something...and it is certainly undeserved as all mercy is..or it wouldnít be was I saying before about that...oh yeah ďhe who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor, now grace is close to favor...close...itís not...but that's approach..thatís one of the words that are around grace...that youíve found favor...that He has extended his grace ..although the grace of God and the grace of Jesus Christ too,by the way, two different things....we gotta get into this
(This isnít a bible teaching it is a Jerry Seinfeld routine. Who are these people and why do they deserve undeserved mercy. Isnít regular mercy good enough for them?)

Stewart: ...see somehow I got saved....And I still think I got saved...I still think I got saved. Did I get saved two weeks ago? Well, I think I have to say, I got saved 25 years ago...I think... but thatís another matter ...I got saved or whatever....and right away...right away...ahh....again you know, ..thereís another thing. I bought a bill of goods in a way ....because what does everybody get saved....and then you go to church...and thatís about it....anyway..ahh..something like that..I got saved and I lost interest in ..that's ..I donít remember doing it , Iím saying...I must have something like lost interest in was no longer interesting
(Gee imagine if one of us stood up and said we lost interest in salvation)This also again is a very important look behind the real motivations of how Cobu started. ST didnít like being with other Christians and thought he was better. He ran forcibly forward ignoring everyone and everything in his way and then 20 years later has this short pause but to us who have wisdom it is a key event well itís over..I mean ah...and I must have been acting something like that...perhaps having bought that picked that up..who knows..anyway...thatís that area
(Yea something in that area.


Stewart:I got saved or whatever
(Pretty callous about getting saved. Well I either got saved or had a tuna sandwich that day. One of the two)
....and right away...right away...ahh....again you know, ..thereís another thing. I bought a bill of goods in a way ....because what does everybody get saved....and then you go to church...and thatís about it
(Canít help himself can he with the jabs at ďregular ChristiansĒ
....anyway..ahh..something like that
(yea something. I think the tuna gave me heartburn thatís what it was. Maybe it was a church that gave out free tuna ah I forget)

Stewart: well all right itís no longer now Iíl l get in the Old Testament now Iíll start interpreting...and thatís what happened
(This is actually interesting. A look behind the secretive curtain was a the process since....and uh got into interpreting this and interpreting that and and Matthew 24....meanwhile the most important teaching of all, salvation, and the most important part of the most important teaching was nowhere. An nobody noticed.
(Very interesting. So church didnít do anything for him so he got into the interpreting business. And I guess somewhere by himself he realized you know I am really good at this thing maybe I should start a cultÖ. I mean church
Now, in a nutshell, thatís a process sense...dya follow?(yes) thatís partly what happened...
(Jeez partly? What are you leaving out brother? Say brothers what is he leaving out(hand motions))

Stewart thought studying Matthew 24 would do that...over the years many secretly dreaded it because fear ďI could loose my salvation,
(So you did know you rat!! That was the effect your ďMt24Ē studies had on us and you very well knew it. What a skunk!! And he did it with glee. Let me put a torch to these sheep of mine and laugh when their wool catches on fire. Hey brothers we should do this more often)
with such an extreme testing , will I make it? (yeah yeashyes)Ē's up to me(voices in response) and you know itís the brothers ...again...that may ..that particular one maybe even worse with the sisters...perhaps...there feeling reaction to it might be worse...but ya know itís still the brothers...If ..if our life is based on works...that faith becomes works somehow...thatís just it ..That's more telling on the brothers...and itís the brothers therefore that um...thatís why I have been speaking of the brothers being set free...think itís true? (yes)
(I got news for you pal. It was no picnic being under your thumb whether or not you were a brother or a sister. Hey what is worth losing your arms or your legs. Both stink)...

Stewart:Without grace youíre on a crossing your fingers basis. I asked a while ago ďAre you trying to talk Jesus into saving you?Ē Remember..(yes) trying to convince him into saving you. (yes) my goodness...
(A result of living under the law for so long)
Ya know the whole while, I never tried to take Jesus' place
(LIAR)(he already admitted that he knew our allegiance was to him)
.. in no way and would always speaking against it
(Come on ST you know and have taught itís not what you say it is what you do. Well I didnít mean to murder him defense still gets you 2nd degree murder charge)
...and yet thatís what the devil arranged
(And how does the devil do this unless he finds someone willing to do his bidding Hmmmmmmmmm?????)
...nowthink about it...something like that in effect....Without grace the chain of how everything connects to Jesus is broken.
(YES YES YES so you do know that!! Why didnít you give everyone their walking papers then? Why didnít everyone give him his walking papers then? Well everyone wasnít there for one thing. His carefully orchestrated meeting with the ďworld is going to endĒ catch phrase instead of telling everyone he was wrong and was going to confess sin and error and that they needed to be at that meeting.) And even if he said everyone should be at the meeting it means nothing without him clearly saying why. Otherwise it comes off as just another attempt to get everyone to come to a meeting)

Stewart: So all becomes mysterious..grace is meant to be the the uh framework, format....Iím saying "salvation is a gift while under the counter you have to earn it by Faith
(Still donít understand how this works do you)We are saved by faith. Faith is believing. Abraham believed God and it was reckoned to him as righteousness. Works can prove faith but can never justify anyone. And even that it is how you do your works that proves your faith not the work itself).
"Why donít the brothers marry, because they have no confidence. Why donít they have confidence, because of their impossible task....what do you think of that brothers?...(yes yeah makes a lot of sense)...
(Well that and the little fact that anyone who tried to get married he belittled and in some cases sent hit squads to snuff out the relationships. What is missing from this part anyone? Think on thisÖ

It is the fact that he doesnít explain WHY he didnít want us to be married. Does he have an ulterior motive well one thing is for sure we are not going to find out from him.

STEWART TRAILL FORBADE MARRIAGE!!!!!!!! It is one of the great charges against him

Brother 4: Many of the ones that are married, their marriages aren't very good because of the same problem...
(That is right. Because the teaching was oppressive crap that took the most important element out of any marriage. Anyone want to guess again???????

TRUST. ST set the brothers against the sisters and the sisters against the brothers. And not a mention of any of that

STEWART: Faith has become almost an end in itself ...howís that?(yeas) one of the translations calls it the instrument...the the way I wonder ..Gayle? y'know there are of course a lot of salvation tracts floating around pick em up right?(yes) Are they all the very same thing? (pretty much) that Itís faith, faith, faith, that itís never grace? (nooo, itís grace yeah grace) huh? There is grace? (yeah yes yeah)....well I picked one up..I saw one yesterday, it was zero grace....or a few days ago .there certainly must be grace Brother 5: isnít even the King James text...doesn't it say something the word it, donít they say... ďit is through grace you are saved by faith?

Stewart: Yeah..same thing..thatís Revised...same thing... (noo no, itís by grace ..
((Whatever it is you missed it for 20 years)And again the great teacher 20 years later says oops I missed grace and was only trying by faith. I got news for you that you canít have one without the other. Because your faith is in the fact that you accept Godís grace through Jesus sacrifice)

Stewart: say again...say again..I canít hear ya

Brother 5:: I thought the kings James Version as I have seen it on those tracts. said. ďBy Grace you have been saved through faith..the KJV ( changed it said it differently the first time Adrian)

Stewart: It says "by" ..Iíll bet says "by grace through faith.."(right) Faith is the lesser and Grace is the greater, doesnít matter what translation...(yeah) thatíll comeout...Grace is the basis... ..all the faith in the world...and if He doesnít extend His grace....Now..thatís jumping the gun... without grace as the basis...Be zealous to confirm your call and election becomes trying to convince Jesus to save you(yes)... because the fact that nobody is picking up on grace.. and you havenít been...You havenít been picking upon it... the fact that nobodyís been picking up on it
(So I missed whatever it is for 20 years and now I am the only one who understands it? Time for another barf bag) much as I have already gone into it...shows how deeply everyone is into ďFaith, itís up to meĒecetera...instilled in...
(Uh no works. _

Stewart: think a that...

There is no receiving His grace with thanksgiving.... which is almost the basis of Christian life....Christian Life..thatís right...whereís Orange
(Ah the color code. You have mostly been missing in action for 10 years at this point) grace...Does the word grace appear anywhere...just the word...let alone ...Iíll bet it doesnít....Things we looked doesnít...

Stewart : We got a long way to go, people ..are you getting restless?(noooo)Notice there is a lot of running out..(yes...maybe take a 10 minute break....) Itís 5:00 now....We can either keep going or take a break or break for supper(breakup 10min, go for a while why don't we take a vote, go till supper? ) Part 4 of the Grace Meeting

Stewart: Well...well...we could take a vote...remembering that for freedom(everyone together) Christ has set us free(thank you Jesus) whatís the rest though..(everyone) Stand fast therefore and do not submit again to a yoke of slavery.)
Geez Louise he just announced it. He of course letís out who we were a slave to? And what he did with the proceeds)
To a Yoke of..? (slavery)To a yoke of salvation by faith "quote" "works"
(Disgusting how twisted this is)
.... Are the brothers starting to realize how Jesus is starting to set all of US! free?(yeees) how many are only starting to?(just a little) how many think they half understand it pretty much?...well... That's thatís getting there...Now letís vote...on the break or keep going....keep going such as...I mean I donít want to dwell on me
(Another lie. He thinks he is going to get away with it at this point also I think this statement is like a breath of Phew I got away with another one boy am I slick)
..but aah...up to a point itís important...the way I have spirit.....what God is doing with Heís been leading me...and then finally ...the right view and balance thatís a big one..what is the right ..what is right then?... well starting that... and about grace... and other smaller things...or should we take a break?....(take a break) or should we take supper?
(How about since you missed the most basic elements of Christianity for 20 years and taught others to do so we donít let you decide whatís next?)
( supper)... now what is Godís will?(supper, I think it's God's will to keep going,)(Why donít we take a vote?)

Cut 6 stops here at 3 minutes 50 sec. The 1st tape keeps going here

Stewart: you see when you sing amazing grace...doesnít really hit you huh?(yes it, no)take a vote on it then(yes) many say we break for supper now? how many say we take a 10 minute break?...How many say no break and no supper?(laughter) Well itís pretty obvious that most want a break....(yes) right?(yes) so everybody vote on a 10 minute break or a supper break(yeah) is supper ready?

Vinnie: Yeah ...if were gonna have a break I think it should be for supper,because if we go on to 7:00 its ahh it makes things..hard..the food will be getting messed up(laughter)

Stewart : okay you ready? how is that pure Vinnie and our fellowship? Well and actions are to be interpreted in terms of the nearest circumstance only and we must act on the basis of the closest circumstance....never raise up our eyes into the context of greater things....ahh now supper is pretty great thatís true but but..(laughter) there maybe even greater things...pitiful little ďitís gonna get messed up.Ē (laughter)....Take courage Vinnie! Take courage(laughter) see Iím strengthening the brothers!(laughter) Take courage...
(Once again mocking the thing he was supposed to be doing. Meet the new boss same as the old boss)

Vinnie: stupid thing I said... Brother: (to Vinnie)Don't worry

Stewart: Listen ah..letís all vote on a 10 minute break or a supper break...Are we all ready? (yes) How many say a supper break now?(clamor) well..and how many say a 10 minute break? well they lost(laughing) Well since itís everybody and I donít know a reason why to do otherwise..maybe a supper break..we can agree on that then( yes) what do you think? (yes) what do you think about this meeting?(praise God thank you Jesus....) Never would have thought of it... (nooo)

Denny Dennison: I always thought that we consciously as a fellowship never got into grace because of the potential to take advantage which I always saw in the other churches
(Another one of those ingrained teachings we have ST to thank for)

Stewart: Hey..thereís a huge potential to take advantage..but tough luck..that is the route we must go(yes) cuz thatís the bible route...that is...yes there is a huge potential...weíll have to get into never would have thought this...itís a big surprise(yes)....
(Again the great teacher doesnít understand the heart of someone who is saved and wants to please God. The way of the Spirit is naturally opposed to the way of the flesh. We always thought of the flesh as what sins we commit while the bible teaching on the flesh is quite different. Read the works of the flesh. You might notice how Cobu was FILLED with them. And he himself has said this day he was devoid of grace and ultimately it can be construed devoid of the fruits of the spirit. The whole concept of ďtaking advantage was used to keep people away from grace, mercy and forgiveness. It was like a constant signpost saying DANGER or WARNING donít come here. Being loving or kind was mocked. Having true forgiveness as well. Peopleís sins and weaknesses were constantly brought up acerbating the problem.)

Brother 6: yeah ..we went to see a brothers last night in Brighton Beach

Stewart: Canít hear a word yer mumbling...

Brother 6: okay We went to see some brothers in Brighton Beach last night and I remembering saying ďyo ..Jesus Stewart Jesus has been saving him too.

Stewart: already did at least two weeks ago
(nasty little comment in a way. Remember we donít get to make statements about Oz even if Oz himself has said it earlier)
(thank you Jesus)...His grace is greater than my shame
(I must have missed that)
or my error (thank you Jesus...yeah praise God) the next time youíre afraid to make a mistake...because youíre afraid to, in sincerity, do what really looks ruuu what really looks right, really really looks right...His grace if if ya are wrong His grace is greater anyway(thank you Jesus) TWENTY FIVE YEARS OF ERROR? try to beat that(laughter) 25 years of colossal error....
(Again time to run everyone)

Stewart: this is no little point..(yeah) Sonya says I should expound on grace more..remember? Thatís the ans ah Taloola..youíre the one ..expound on grace more..he ha ..thatís the answer huh? MYYYYY...itís an awful lot more than that...this mortal sin...I thought that was a big deal..I made a mistake...I did...Ha I thought that I was... I bought a bill of goods
(No you sold a bill of goods. You donít get to teach in error for 25 years and keep your job. Not in house that has half a clue you donít).
That was awful...but that wasnít even the tip of the iceberg...remember that?(yes) once in a lifetime bible study I called it..remember?(yes)Oh my goodness....It is very very hard... a month from now you try to picture somebody...actually being oblivious to grace...and is fervent in Jesus
(The bible says people like this are deceivers and deceived. Certainly at the very least ST was always fervent for what he wanted and just as fervently made sure we had almost nothing. He was and is a robber living off the lives and hard work of others.What is the other thing he used to always say. My job is to point out the weaknesses of others to make them better. But what was the real result? Faultfinding as a system to keep spiritual slaves who are robbed of every ounce of blessing from heaven. He wanted to be a leader but was critically flawed in that he HATED building people up He mocked kindness and love openly through the years. He only liked tearing people down. So he built his theology around who he was rather than conforming who he was to God as is proper)(One of the hobbies of Cobu people is to sit around and talk about how they got beaten.ĒDo you remember the time sT really walloped so and so. Did you see his face man that was funny!!Ē We gloried in the wounds that this false shepard had given us.
as I have been...and put that together...a month from now try and figure that out..impossible....which leads you to wonder...God purposely made me blind to it..."so I am not responsible"(Stewart in a mocking tone) pa..purposely made me blind to it..etc.. but ah....needs to understand when I said Iím glad itís that bad because itís proof ..itís my written evidence..what I already know in my spirit...that I didnít do it... I did it in ignorance...thereís the proof....itís not there..
(Tell your story walking. Yes you got away with it this day. But some people were finally able to see through this charade and I am one of them. And again ST would never give a do over to anyone else for anything even the slightest things. But he gives himself a huge 25 year pass and we were all supposed to be so happy that he did. Meanwhile things quickly degenerated and got much much worse. The fruit of repentance is the actions following. And STís actions following this meeting were abhorant. I know of at least 3 brothers who tried to discuss this with him after and were excorbiated.One Jay Franklin we have on tape)

Stewart: if it was half there messed up...that might make me Iím glad itís that bad...itís donít get it huh?
(How many times during his ďconfessionĒ now has he basically called everyone an idiot.
(yeas) a lot more to it...what do you think about this..(thank you Jesus...) later we will have to discuss your forgiveness of me or the lack of it...thatís a subject.... now are we all ready to pray together?(yes)
(Why wait? Wouldnít the great teacher always say if the matter is unpleasant blah blah blah)
Brother 7: itís gonna take a while to digest...

Brother 8:: For me , it shows how much Jesus loves you fiercely..
(Always someone there to say itís ok Stewie)

Stewart: Boy ...that is my hope right is said ďHe has become my salvationĒ....that I dare trust him...what He has done for me...even through this....

Brother 9: Seems to me, like a beginning, a beginning of a better relationship with Jesus and with each other(yes)
(I canít find this on the tape but I think this may have been me)

Stewart: based on the sufficiency of His grace(thank you Jesus)

Lauren Albrecht: Iím not sure but I, I heard that the man that wrote or that Jesus gave the words to Amazing Grace, that he was a Christian for a long time and came to the realization that he was on the wrong basis..and that..

Stewart: really?

Lauren: God gave him the words that God marked him with Amazing Grace Brother 10: thereís a little more than that..

Stewart: is that right?

Brother 11: Actually...he was a seafarer.. and he dealt in slavery, he was a Christian and he backslid very grossly and he came back to God and the last part of his life, he was extremely faithful..and close to Jesus but he used to deal in slavery

Bobby Whipple: He was He was in a very serious He was in the Church of England, they thought he committed apostasy...they told him he was finished and ah...because of all the sins that he chose..serious sin he was into when he was in Africa Brother 11: Drinking and slavery

Bobby: then he uh called out ta, he did call out to God and Jesus forgave him and thatís why he wrote the song..Amazing Grace .(wow...thank you Jesus)

Stewart: so you see know we gotta change everything,...He called out to God...he put his faith in Godís grace..

Bobby: yeah

Stewart: and then called out to what yer saying(yeah yeah) And he knew that thatís what he was was doing then.....same as me....Letís hear some more brothers and sisters.....

Brother 12 : I know when I was backsliden it seems ah, the times when I could see Grace most clearly in fact, ah pretty much the only times that I considered it was when I was the very most out of it..with the noose around my neck and the rope broke

Brother 13: physically

Brother12 : I considered his grace a lot more than I considered my faith at that point

Stewart: that makes sense

Brother 14: I saw God's grace when He made me trust him with 3 children....and I ...will continue

Stewart: (whispering) that's His mercy...

Brother 15: I think that God has let this happen this long....and what is His plan for us(yeah yes..muttering thank you Jesus)

Bob Muller: It is his grace that brought us safe thus far...(and grace will bring me home...praise God ..thank you Jesus)

Stewart: You don't have the view that Salvation is over and done with..?(starting to..starting to now..muttering) Right kind of view of that... Otherwise Grace would no longer be grace...

Stewart: Now, you must understand, I'm not a fraud. I'm not a phony. I'm not a Jim Jones as they say. I'm not a false teacher.
(If you are not a false teacher then who is? You taught harshness and cruelty and you delighted in doing so. How many mocked and laughed at when they squirmed. And you made yourself wealthy as well. Sorry but you are GUILTY!)
What I am is a poor one. I said I was glad, glad, that it's this bad. Job said, "Make me know how I have erred." He said, "If only God would write the indictment, I'd be proud of it."Well, I didn't, He didn't have to write the indictment, I did.
(The True bill of indictment is yet to be served and I know how Dave Simmons feels about this. But can you imagine ST allowing anyone else to pull this. Ludicrous)
Furthermore, the way, I was reading a while ago that bad memory that I'm extremely having..I was reading that this is due to stress and what was the other one? stress and something like that. Job said, "Make me know how I have erred." Also, "Those who err in spirit will come to understanding. We'll have to get into, somehow it's my spirit, somehow I erred in spirit.
(Yes you did)
Before erring in words.
(of course. It proceeds from the heart and comes out the mouth. This at least you did get right but of course only used it to abuse not to bless. And isnít that what this all comes down to? ST used his position and his supposed knowledge of God and others to abuse and not to bless. Game set and match the whole shooting works explained right there. Bible says the wicked love to curseÖ.and take joy in unrighteousness. Denying grace and mercy for 20 years under the guise of being the all seeing one and then this pitiful excuse for a confession)
But um, oh yes, I'm glad, I'm glad that it's that bad, trying to put in why, because it is written proof to my sanity that indeed I did it in ignorance. That is, I can see, had I had I tried to deceive, I wonder if I could have done it as well.
(Deciever and deceived anyone)
I tried to remove grace this well, leave no traces, tried to make some weird thing, which I , even I can't say I did
(I can say it. You were the architect and builder of this fiasco),
when I see how well it is done. that uh..that's the reason that I have received mercy. right there. It is that I did it in ignorance. colossal eh colossal thing that is that "sin abounds, grace abounds all the more. The subject to which I was oblivious for 25 years while getting more of it all the time. This subject, my error, was the subject of grace. We'll get into that later.

Stewart: The Language....but uh shows all the more that it's by His grace that He shows me, no one else did.
(Why is that? Isnít that what you would say? Why is it?)
Only He could have, I couldn't, I didn't. The fact that He showed me and at this point in time. You say breaking down, you don't know how badly I was breaking down.
(No we donít and you donít explain. So again we are left with rumors of how he was breaking down)
At this point in time when He's clearly uh rescuing us all, He rescued me. I mean rescued. I wonder if "petering" I wonder. I was petering out. I wonder if that word actually means, actually comes from Peter's problem which is my problem. partly.

Stewart : All these things, these ills, from the brothers at least, are made worse by me, everyone of them.
(Ding! We have a winner!)

Brother: All of them?

Stewart: All these things, I think everything. Maybe everything. But certainly a lot and at least I've been making it worse. Well, His gracetoward me. The fact that I, that I can exist... you know, you may not have thought of it yet, He could have rescued, He could have wiped me out and rescued the church very easily. He could've anyone. I was oblivious.
(If he had wiped you out at this point everyone would have been locked in your error and even though your admission is pitiable, poor, blind and naked at least some woke up and left after this myself included for good. It broke the main curse that sat upon my heart which was that I couldnít conceive of being a Christian elsewhere because I would just be playing games and trying to avoid the standard. Now we see the standard was false all along. What horrible rock and hard place oppression living under this manís grip was. And is for some to this day whether in our out of Cobu)
I don't know how it could happen. But in fact, you knew it, I was oblivious to grace. It's one of the two. I was oblivious to grace or have totally being, total deceiver the whole while.
(And if you were a total deceiver all the time then why should we believe you now? Wouldnít you just be trying to come up with some lame reason to explain it all so you could keep control? And history has proved that is exactly what you did. And of course you miss the deceiver and deceived option as well. If you are deceiver and deceived then it would explain your whole psychosis here would it not? You could easily have known what you were doing on one hand and been deceiving yourself on the other. It is much easier to sleep at night I would imagine. Much easier to convince yourself you are doing it all for God)
It's one of the two.
(again no it isnít)
When you read, do you understand, that we looked in this book and cannot find the word grace, except in the middle of of Faith in your Salvation, quotes the verse, "For by grace are you saved" and that makes it worse yet and and totally oblivious to it everywhere else......what?

Stewart: Faith has become, so-called faith has become everything.
(Yes some more hidden honesty peeps out. It was never really faith but his pseudo faith. Just as he made up pseudo love(speaking the truth even harshly became love) and all the other pseudo Christian things he came up with to hide the fact that he had no interest in learning or teaching the real versions)
Therefore, it's on me. We'll get into, "I could take it, the brothers couldn't" I could take it for longer. that's all.

Brother: well I tell ya I seen grace at work in my life and in a lot of us when I rededicated, I knew it was nothing I did and with a lot of brothers who returned I could see it was a big example of God's grace, Him doing that, I think specifically to show His grace that He has on us. I think about that a lot. ( voices in agreement)

Stewart: I have not been acknowledging His grace. Not in my, not in my own life. Not making it known. Still can't believe that I did it. I have to of course. While we're on the subject. When did I ever speak on the subject of my sinfulness? (murmurs of " I would say never, never really")
(Nor are you exposing all the dirty little secrets now)

Brother: I remember you telling us once that if we lived inside your body for a minute we would go crazy.(Both counting himself better and showing that he was never at peace)

Stewart: Did I? (yeah, yes)

Brother: I remember you saying a few times that "I was the worst one among you."

Stewart: Yeah, I said it a thousand times. I'm no better. But nobody believed it. (right right, that you had so much faith) "Because I have so much faith, because I can take it. heh. uh... I said a thousand times I'm no better. But somehow my spirit is selling that I'm sinless.(yeah, yeah true)
(you are darn right it is true. And this should have been examined very deeply in this meeting if we were not so broken down)
therefore the brothers must be sinless like Stewart and everything will be alright. (right, right) and many such things, many such proofs. I have a boxful now. Along with a last little pack at the end, "Maybe it wouldn't have mattered anyway." That is a, a it perverse or is it something else? It's now that it really matters. The older brothers. How much difference would it have made. That's a good question. Try try anyway with your next 18 year old. one would think it doesn't matter what you say. However, be that as it may, it's with the older brothers that uh, it becomes extreme. example of this.
(Wouldnít have mattered? Oh you faithless creature!! So if we had been allowed to live according to the spirit those 20 years and still did the works that we did with witnessing and the like where would we have been? People left because they were disheartened and beaten. They had given everything for God or who they thought God was and it was never enough. Imagine if it had been enough how different things would have been.(Pause and think on this)

Stewart: When did you hear me say much at all on the subject of repentance?( voices mixed)

Brother: It always seemed up to us. We had to do it. Grace wasn't talked about in repentance.( voices, "I might be mistaken but I think quite a bit," perhaps he's talking about repentance

Stewart: I think I've repented more in the last 2 weeks and then 2 months and then a hundred times more than eh than everything else put together until I wondered what has been going on. y'know I, I am given to dramatic exaggerations to make a point. I'm not exaggerating. I am not exaggerating. We as a church to this moment, and that's another one, when, where, and how did we become a church, if we ever did, when where and how does any church become a church if and when it does? And for that matter, Where, when, and how if there is a where, when, and how is someone born again or are they saved? A lot of this is ah...We have to redo everything...from the bottom up. And that is no exaggeration. Grace is much more important than faith. And that was completely turned around. And more than that. We as a church to this moment have no appreciation of grace.


Stewart: We as a church to this moment, and that's another one, when, where, and how did we become a church, if we ever did, when, where, and how does any church become a church if and when it does? And for that matter, Where, when, and how if there is a where, when, and how is someone born again or are they saved? A lot of this is ah...We have to redo everything...from the bottom up

PAUL: Ahh I started wondering,...About ten years ago, when i first prayed to Jesus with Brothers and Sisters that day.And I know that inside, I felt a huge change, a big change in my life and ahh did ask God for His Holy Spirit and ah..always thought, I'd been born again from that point and now , I'm like, ya know, there have been alot of times over those ten years that i have rebelled against Him. and done alot of wrong things against Him.

STEW: you , you were not born again. you have deceived yourself. As it is written "little children, let no one deceive you."you have deceived yourself or did some character deceive you?
(Of course there is another explaination and it was played out repeatedly. We got saved but got saved into madness. We rebelled against the madness because we couldnít handle trying anymore only to fail. We couldnít handle the discouragement anymore. And we were not allowed to question the system or the leader. To do so was heresy. So there was an inbred self evident truth that it was more honorable to backslide then question Stewart Traill and we fed this to each other with comments like if I leave I am not going to play church games ect ect.)(And then ST adds to his own sin by saying this person has deceived themselves. Wonderful Gee thanks ST

PAUL: thats what i'm trying to put my things together not."

Stewart: We as a church to this moment, and that's another one, when, where, and how did we become a church, if we ever did, when, where, and how does any church become a church if and when it does? And for that matter, Where, when, and how if there is a where, when, and how is someone born again or are they saved? A lot of this is ah...We have to redo everything...from the bottom up

Stewart: Look at this. I practically said what it was and what you heard the last 2 months and you still didn't go to, grace is the problem.(coughing) Haven't you looked in these books lately and noticed there's no grace?(yeah, no no) with all the grace talk (sounded so good) What sounded so good?(you know something something that's) How many did, by the way, and didn't say it? How many of you thought, the problem is grace? There is no grace. y'didn't say it.
(Actually first off the problem wasnít grace. The problem was you. And yes many of us held back the fact that we thought it was you. For two reasons. One like Pavlovís dogís we were trained to both not question you and even if someone did they were quickly brought back in line by both you and your minions. And you never had any problem sicking the ďbrothersĒ on an individual who stepped out of line. So we were trained to avoid looking at your wrongs and when we did see them we were trained to blame ourselves and not you. As it was put by you in the meeting ďIt was always all on usĒ

Which brings me to another point. For someone who preached taking responsibility all those years you are taking none for your grievous error. It was everyone elseís fault. No one told me. If someone had said that to you mocking would quickly ensue something like Wah Wah no one ever told me about grace Wah Wah. Whatís he doing brothers. Ugggggg.

Pretty close huh.I bet the dog ate your homework too huh?)

Brother: I thought I thought I thought it was, grace was different because there's been more emphasis. (he already said that)

Denny: The way I was looking at it was, I was looking at it, I was looking at more from the place of I thought you were getting more of an appreciation for grace but it never dawned on me that we

Stewart: more of an appreciation (That's what I thought)( I never really thought that) Listen, Listen, Gayle's only language is a while ago God woke me up. It was that bad. He woke me up. And rescued me. And he has in fact, (sigh) and uh, that's hope (that you can see)Grace is the foundation. Jesus Christ himself is the foundation but the next thing on is grace. So he is the foundation on Jesus. Graceis the founda, building on Jesus, grace immediately. And this teaching is a house built on sand. Not the church, the hou, the teaching is built on sand. And the teaching has come to nothing. It is based on error and contains error, contains appalling errors. Flat statements contrary to the gospel, flat contrary. I can be bitter toward all my friends as Job of course. But, having his lesson, I haven't been impatient. You know it's been hard for me to say anything to you people for 10 days, knowing all this, not wanting to start things wrongly. And 2 months previously and longer that God was waking me up. I sat here at the last meeting at the end noticing that I was unable to put together grace, election, sanctification, unable to speak of these things. The great teacher unable.
(Yes I agree. But since you dove back into your error and worse after this meeting now it comes to us to point out what should have been obvious at the time. You are a liar. You are the one who caused these little ones to sin who would have been better had a millstone been put around your neck and thrown into the sea. You have caused grave harm by your very nature and being and you continue in it to this day! You not only taught error you profited from it )

Stewart: Very hard for me to to uh believe it. Gayle found this verse in scripture, won't tell you where, look it up later. It's about Apollos, who went around with Paul. Apollos was was teaching about Jesus, quite accurately and with a fervent spirit but he was in error. Pricilla , Aquila took him aside and they told him the real story and then those who had received grace heard him gladly. (murmur of assent wow...) Indicating that, indicating that it may have been the very same thing. Those who had received grace heard him gladly. Now do you remember that verse? (yeah) Don't bother now, in fact, FORGET YOUR BIBLES, pay attention. I'm the lesson today, not the Bible.
(What nastiness).
I myself am the lesson. So learn a lesson. (Thankfully I did) His fervent spirit, his fervent spirit was and some accuracy yes and he was well versed in the scriptures.
(This doesnít apply sorry. He may have been fervent but again this is what ST would call a game. If one man is fervent and makes an error but his heart is in the right place and he treats people well that is one thing. But STís fervency caused harm to thousands and thousands of people.
I used to be maybe.
(You were never half of what you purported yourself to be. Your interpretation was flawed because you always had to put your taint of harshness and world view on everything. Hence the Living Water proverb is proved true. ďALL were baptized into Stewart TraillĒ
And he went with his fervent spirit in the synagogue, in the synagogue he went around insisting on Jesus but apparently uh devoid of grace. Apparently oblivious, indicating maybe that was the problem. Certainly oblivious to something. And then those who had received grace afterwards heard him gladly. And later he was as follows
(No wonder he didnít want anyone to look up the verse. I just did and while fervent he taught ACCURATELY hence has nothing in common with ST and ST using this to somehow justify himself is just another falsehood.

Stewart:"It's about Apollos, who went around with Paul. Apollos was was teaching about Jesus, quite accurately and with a fervent spirit but he was in error."

This is not who Apollos was at the time and this was not what he was doing. According to this scripture Apollos was instructed in the way of the Lord but only knew the Baptism of John. He was not Paul's traveling companion yet because Paul hadn't met him yet. Priscilla and Aquila found him boldly speaking in a synagogue. The Scripture says: "he spoke and taught accurately

Stewart: Pricilla , Aquila took him aside and they told him the real story and then those who had received grace heard him gladly. (murmur of assent wow...) Indicating that, indicating that it may have been the very same thing."

Stewart: His fervent spirit, his fervent spirit was and some accuracy yes and he was well versed in the scriptures. I used to be maybe
(donít hurt yourself patting yourself on the back to hard huh? What happened to let another praise you and not yourself. That was a famous Cobu verse)
And he went with his fervent spirit in the synagogue, in the synagogue he went around insisting on Jesus but apparently uh devoid of grace.
(not true not there)
Apparently oblivious, indicating maybe that was the problem. Certainly oblivious to something. And then those who had received grace afterwards heard him gladly. And later he was as follows"
(The ones oblivious were us sitting there.)

Stewart: For 25 years? Was it? By the way. To your shame,
(again no repentance here)
well, they didn't really. I walked in here and I actually said..and nobody threw up.
(funny I mentioned 22 years later that I was going to leave to throw up in the middle of this maybe he does have some prophetic gifts after all lol)
I actually said, "Can't you rely on your faith?" That's worse than saved by faith. Now you're even relying on it, it's everything. You rely on your faith. How many of you said, you didn't , you didn't say it, but you thought "that is wrong!" Let's hear it! How many said, that is wrong, Let's Hear It! Up or Down! What did you say Bob?
(Who cares. You are a liar)

Bob: I thought it was wrong cuz we just had a lesson on relying on Jesus. but

Stewart: What is, what is the use of all these lessons?
(To get you off the hook for whatever wrong you did and so you could keep the things you really care about money and control/power)
These lessons are accomplishing nothing.
(Ah contrare)
It's my fervent spirit that's doing everything.
(Oppressive spirit perhaps? Often I get told by ex members who havenít been there for awhile. I am over Cobu. And if I ask how they did it I really donít get much if any answer. It is my fervent opinion that if you havenít dealt with who St really is and what he made you into when you were there then a lot of his junk teaching probably still remains. I know this is not a popular opinion but I know what it took for me to get over the effects of his oppressive spirit and while each person is entitled to live their life as they please I am entitled to wonder how much of STís crap might still be effecting someone who left without dealing with this nonsense)
You're not listening to the lessons even as far as they do go. You do what I do. I say "don't smoke" but I smoke so what do you do?(smoke)
(parrot everything he wants us to obviously. And we do it hoping he will leave us alone and not torture us some more. Please daddy be nice to us. Donít beat us we said what you wanted to hear didnít we? Then daddy gets mad because you are nothing but a parrot and beats you anyway half the time. What a Wonderful life. James Stewart wouldnít star in this movie I can tell you!).
It's nothing but God's grace that which I was oblivious which has brought us thus far
(Yes I think we should change the lyric of Amazing grace to by oblivion you have brought us this far but NOW by Grace you will bring us home. Well at least until next week when I drop the new I am better than you and screw that whole grace thing on you teaching. Oh and have the U teaching to comfort yourselves with my violation of you),
nothing but. It's all the more clear.
(Yes as clear as used motor oil after 20k miles or so)
Even with that error of that magnitude, so that the deepest possible error. I can't believe that no other Christians, I can't believe that no other Christians, an error of that magnitude, could not be spotted.
(Thankfully it was spotted but Captain Blasto made sure the thing he always told us that we ran forward with thick bossed shield which really applied to him kept him from hearing what anyone was saying(ANYONE NOTICING A TREND BTW THAT ALL THE LESSONS that he applied to us during the years you were in the church really applied to ST not us? He was giving us his lessons which to me shows his lie and Godís faithfulness. God repeatedly tried to show him through the years where he was off but he would just slough it off on us.)
I can't believe it. But there it is. Where is grace? Faith in His promise. Where is grace? Yes, the concept is good. And in fact all the better, 12 ways to practice, that's all the better, that word. Because that's what this is practicing. Now the real use of faith..that's something else.
(The words were used but we again were not allowed to access them. By mocking the fruits of the spirit he set it up that anyone who headed toward those things was mocked. And since we bought him as Godís agent on the earth we obeyed. And in true turning the bitter to sweet and the sweet to bitter we began over time to associate words with his hidden meanings not the true ones. Love was telling people harshly of their faults is just one example another is that faithfulness has to do with Witnessing and feeding lambs not doing whatever the Holy Spirit showed you. And many other such things which if I have time and inclination I will try to put together for a Cobu definitions page on the website)

Stewart: That's something else. These are indeed, 12 ways to practice where they, where they properly...speaking of grace and the other matters. But the real use of grace, and the real use of faith rather is in believing and in walking by faith that we are God's chosen and elect and that His grace is given to us. We have to get into this and thereby..grace is first, faith is second. We are saved by gracenot by faith. We're saved through faith. Faith is necessary. But faith is the basis. Now of course it's ruined. I wonder. I might as well say it

(I'll just go ahead) If you took this book to all the, to the uh bible schools, would they say this is good? I, I, I'm appalled to say I think they would. I think they would buy it. It is written with a fervent spirit and is saying good and right things. The word "subtle"...this is nothing but the work of the devil. Period, nothing but. It is so subtle, so beautiful and perfect. Wish I coulda done that well. Wish I was that good. I'm not. Therefore, who has saved us all these years? (Jesus! by grace, by His grace)
(Well to be fair ST you had help from somewhere)

Stewart: And you have this feeling Stewart is saving us. That's what you have, your feeling( voices of accent)
(no that is the carrot on the string that somehow if we are close to ST he will save us. But it is a false carrot.
somehow. One of the last.....I was handing out these comments about the, this meeting, y'know I hand 'em out, one a day.
(Yea like Flintstones oppressive vitamins)
The last one, I didn't hand out was, "I wish the the uh Christian movie Hollywood cameras could be here for this meeting." to uh make a movie of this meeting. ya think?(yeah)
(a marginal cult nah doubt they would be interested. But the evil hall of fame might be waiting with open arms)
The rest of it was, the rest of the saying was "I've worked very hard for this meeting and I deserve it" (right) and that was going to be the card. Well I have worked very hard. I grew weary with hard doing. Even I grew weary. Sin began showing up in my behavior. Poor Gayle, had to bear the brunt of it.
(Ah finally he burps out something of what this may have been about) What sin? How often. No one asks and ST isnít telling)
And toward all of you. How was I behaving toward you?
Well now that yo asked and that it is 20 years later and I am no longer scared out of my boots that you had the hammer of God and would use it on me you treated me really badly. When I first met you you shook my hand and were kind to me. It was I think the last time. I always wondered about that seemingly random act of kindness in an otherwise rotten fruit and I think now it was like the spider drawing the fly into the web. The rest of this answer I think is answered throughout our website. Lies, oppression and a total lack of concern I would say sum up how you behaved toward us.

Brother: A cruel father like
(good one)Also he liked to play dumb and I know a lot of brethren wonder how conscious ST is of how he treats us but again here you see he does understand. The fact that outside of this meeting he just doesnít care that he acts this way is the bigger issue. But out of your own mouth I condemn you is a famous thought in Cobu whether in exact word or not it was in deed ST shows he knows exactly who he is in reality.

Stewart: Let's hear it. A year, 6months, two years? 5 years? Can't figure it out huh?(no)
(There it is again. Laying out the truth and then taunting us with it. Canít you idiots figure out yet who I really am he is almost screaming)
There's a lot of good practical things in here, they helped you a lot if only the basis were there. In fact, If only the false basis weren't there and the right one was.
(Again direct out of the deceivers mouth. 20 years of a wrong basis. So who is up for another 20???? Well it turns out not me. And if you were someone who did give him another portion of your life please consider finally making a break in your heart from this madness.)
If somebody were trying to avoid grace but still trying to make something look accurate, I wonder how much better they coulda done? Maximum accuracy minus grace.
(He is patting himself on the back for what a wonderful imitation of Christianity he has purported for 20 years!!! So if you still think the good old days were really good perhaps you should reconsider huh? It also explains why so many Xbots have so much trouble getting free from the grip. For more info on this see the Stephen Kaung article on the website)
If you're gonna try that, I wonder how you could do much better? If that were the goal, I don't think I could have done that well.
What he is saying here is very important. He is saying that Cobu was a master forgery.
There is an amazing space where amazing grace should have been. (yeah, some laughter). There really is. And we used to sing that(yeah)back in 137. I am appalled at the whole thing.
(No if you were appalled you would have stepped down. Words and more words. The history of Cobu. Words take the place of reality. A false reality created and inhabited. Welcome behind the curtain folks the wizard is showing all his secrets if you only have the faith to see it)
to come away Stewart: of this you have heard before and the word of truth, the gospel which has come to you as indeed in the whole world, it is bearing fruit and growing so among yourselves. From the day you heard and understood the grace of God in truth. Understood?! I never, I never knew it. Literally. I was totally oblivious. Totally oblivious.
(Yes a false Christ a false witness and a false church the history of Stewart Traill)
I know I did it in ignorance
(ya surrrre I only accidentally killed you and took your joy and the opportunity that was presented to you when you received Christ. Oh I replaced it with something close I mean I just said it was almost a perfect imitation but it is false. Have a nice day everyone).
Can you believe that?(mixed voices) find hard to believe it is,(ST voice louder) the amazing thing, God has done amazing things through me for you!

(Donít knock yourself out patting yourself on the back Stewie. Oh and btw it is a total lie) many many many, every one of them was only His grace! It wasn't me at all. In fact, it was in spite of me. Now think of that for (unclear). You couldn't do much better on a Grace Hollywood movie. And is there someone more sincere than me? Maybe, maybe not.
(This was always the cornerstone of sTís power and influence that he was always so sincere. Well we find out later that he was totally sincere. Sincerely evil and self centered. And I mean that sincerely.)

Stewart: Now, what in me could ever, Is it something in me, I, I assume. Why did God allow that?
(My thought has always been that pesky free will thing. He allowed us to follow ST if we wanted but I am convinced he gave each of us from time to time wake up calls but he wouldnít force us to see ST for who he is because of free will)
Is it dawning on you that I have been oblivious, grace doesn't exist, doesn't exist. You never heard me speak it did you?( no, no , not until recently)

Brother: beginning to

Stewart: what?

Brother: different!

Stewart: different heh.(laughter)

Brother: Seems a lot more fair to me that really is Grace is the basis and I haven't been living according to that.

Stewart: Let's hear it (it's gonna take time) a week at the most
(and that is how long he gave everyone to live in grace. If that) Again you can easily point to this offhand comment and say he was telling you ahead of time what he was going to do)And of course we all laugh. Ha ha ha ha never having an inkling the joke would be on us if we stayed loyal to him whether in our out)
(laughter) However (laughter) However, what's needed is starting all over again(yes)God has consigned all of us, that he might have mercy on all and error.
(Get it??? All of us. No get out of jail free card for you shlubs. I screwed everything up for 20 years but you are still stuck with me.)
We're gonna pray together, Lord willing. Now how are we gonna pray together?(mixed voices, the words by his grace and mercy and salvation are heard) You know it's almost against the uh scripture almost, that all that you do, do in thankfulness for the grace that you've received. You realize that? All that you do, do in thankfulness for the grace that you have received. Not hoping to earn something. Are we ready to pray together? (yes) Tape turned off then on))))
(What do control freaks do? They try to control EVERYTHING!!!! This points to how even prayer was controlled by this guyís thoughts and opinions. Well I better pray the way I should is nothing more than a reminder to stay in the box. Stay in the box. This is most important because of how valuable prayer is in getting free from the grip. So we canít have you all just praying freely now can we)

Stewart: Thank you Jesus(thank you Jesus)So how's your shock value people?
(yea you had us so that we could never look at all of the feelings we always had about you being off. And again a taunt in a way. How is your shock value? But you still canít do anything other than what I say or think)
(mixed voices..."it's getting less")On the other hand some of you were well on your way, 25 years of no grace. No appreciation of grace. you know it's been 10 days now that I've realized that, 10 days and I am shocked as ever, still total shock. I don't see how I could have done that. I keep saying that, I don't know how I could have done it but I did it.
(He is talking like someone who ordered coffee without milk not someone who robbed and plundered people for 20 years. How could I have drank my coffee without milk? Praise God I remember how good coffee tastes with milk)
How very very hard to believe, but there you have it. Now uh, however why don't we get into instead of uh...What we need to do is redo everything uh..redo our lives as individuals and as a fellowship so that everything is firmly based on grace.(thank you Jesus)Now face it. It hasn't been. That is God's grace has been working for us but eh our lives and and uh fellowship has not been based on grace at all.
(Agreed and who is gonna teach us grace Stew you? How could someone who missed something for 20 years now turn and be the full authority on how to teach it. Arrogance huh?)
So, how do we do it, easier said than done.(yes)Any suggestions?
(((YYYEEESSS!!!!!!))) you STEP DOWN!!!!)
You know something we gotta start? Bible studies such as we had 20 years ago, now what was it like Gayle?

Gayle: Where we would all fellowship together in trying to understand God's will and not be assuming Stewart knows everything and just sitting there waiting for him to show us.(murmur of assent "right, I agree").

Stewart: Now how do you like that.. Bob Whipple was there Neil was there.. There was not the assumption that Stewart knows everything.

Bob: right we had We would all get together at 137,and Jesus would show us things and we'd be all get in there, Jesus would be showing brother Stewart things...

Stewart: Harold? Where's Harold? Is he here?

Harold: yeah

Stewart: See Harold was there.(yep) We used to have bible studies and that one little house was all we had(yep)and,

Bob: we were all involved, it wasn't always Brother Stewart we were all given our opinions, what we thought it meant and everything, and y'know Jesus was using all of us together.
(And why did it stop Bobbie? NO answer? I met you the day after this in NYC and you were fully back on your horse supporting ST and warning me about the tricks of the devil. Well you will be happy to know I have learned to avoid a lot of them)

Stewart: I was starting from scratch at that time and that's what I'm doing now. How do you like that?(wow, thank you Jesus)what was I saying just humanly, just humanly alone, try that, and you're 53 and you say "well yes, the last 25 years, come to think of it, I was all wrong, okay, I'll start all over again. Just try that.
(Aww poor poor Stewie having to start over at 53. Let me shed a crocodile tear)
At 53, just in anything human. However that's the state, and it's not human, infinite way way eternal and yet that's what's needed. I and everyone must start over and in fact a bunch a backsliders all the more(yeah)therefore
( He basically just called all his disciples backsliders.),
therefore, and another thing maybe it wouldn't have mattered actually we running out of these books anyway so it's(laughter)
( Ha ha ha Rome is burning now where is my fiddle)

Stewart: Everybody asks, "How's your relationship with Jesus?" You ask that all the time, right, to each other? (yeah) And you immediately follow it with, "Is it based on his grace?" Right? (no, no then pledges to change that) Is relationship with God based on Hisgrace?(hesitating...yess)How do you know?..heheh at this point. well alright by faith...however that's what you gotta ask. And that's what you gotta be looking for, actually more, looking for what it means...How do you see the grace of God? How do you know if someone is based on the grace of God or whatever?
(You have to be shown grace in your heart by God be thankful for it and then express what you have learned to others)

Brother: Because the kindness of your life. How He shows you and gives you things and does things in your life and it's nothing that you do, it's that He does it for you.

Stewart: Okay but eh,
(man that is one large ButÖ.. OH and btw the brother gave a good answer and he just patted him on the head then redirects)
our fellowship must be in grace, by the way, uh why not instead of calling these backslider's meetings, why not call them "Grace" meetings (yeah Thank you Jesus)
(or oops I missed grace meetings)
Do you realize that we're saved by grace(yep) and kept by grace(yeah) What does it mean, "My grace is sufficient for you"? That means you get all you need. (yeah, yep) He gives more grace to the humble. Remember that, therefore he gives more grace(yeah yes)We are saved and kept. That's going to be very obvious. Yes, you don't want to accept that I too make mistakes and really serious ones because.... if you don't have to face that then you don't have to trust Jesus, because I'm perfect, you just trust me (yeah)see? Same old thing. You don't want to accept , see what's going on, after that last session? That's part of what's going on. You don't want to accept what?
(Cat chasing itís tail logic again?)

Bobby: I saw myself in other words when you when you ah you know when you told and said the truth about yourself, I was shocked because uh I was more trusting you and uh trusting all uh but uh rather than relying on Jesus to show me things. more trusting that you would show me things I think that's the reason I acted that way. yknow shocked shocked y'know
(Lord I was born again a rambling man. Listening to Stewart and doing what he said. And now I have come to believe and I hope you understand that I was born again a rambling man)

Stewart: It started out as Jesus showing you things through me(right)But then what did it turn into?(you, "Stewart told us", "Stewart said", Brother Stewart rather than Jesus)
(This is simple answers to complex problems in Cobu)

Brother: It did start out with Jesus...... through you and um just taking for granted and uh getting into uh just trusting that you'll tell us what to do

Stewart: So then scriptures aren't the authority, Stewart is. (right)
(Another admission about what cult life really was)
On the other hand, these lessons, all the loose pieces, that's what this is, all the loose pieces floating around with no grace to to uh unify uh if the loose pieces floating around are that good, what would it be with the real basis?(murmur of enthusiasm). where where uh ya don't have to stop every minute and say "well how does this connect to that and how does this connect to that and you gotta hold all these things in your head at once to make any sense out of it? ya'know what I mean?(yes) You need grace. Living accordingly ,that's another thing, according to God's grace as our basis. Whole new ball game, what did I say it'd be after this meeting?(whole new ball game).
(Just opened the curtain behind what his teaching really was all these years. I mean the bible studies. Random things not attached to the whole. You know kind of like branches not attached to the tree. Gee where did I hear that before?

Stewart: Now, somebody mentioned back there that grace is a chance to take advantage. Remember earlier? (yes) It sounds scary because it's a chance eh certainly is and there's no question about it and that is the danger and wine is treacherous and salvation by works is a drag.(that's true, that's right , laughter) Therefore grace, faith and spirit. The problem with grace is take advantage and the classical with with grace, the classical with the grace problem is "once saved always saved" and "anything goes" That's the classic case and problem. spirit, well, you name it, wine is treacherous and the spirit is mad and well that could be ahh...there's a lot of wild spirit talk. You know what can happen and with ah faith again... own too much faith..(works)now the truth is all three are rightly put together by Jesus. All three are there. And there are problems with going overboard on on everyone of them.
( Yes after 20 years of no grace we donít want to get carried away with having some.)

Now it is true that with grace, the ah, the potential to take advantage is there. That's why earlier, I was saying that if you have to error, better to error the way I did.
(How does he know that? More speculation I guess and defending of himself. Of course the whole conversation is utter madness for the guy who was Godís one true eye. We were so terrified of crossing this jerk and now it is well at least I erred in the right direction. You canít make this stuff up if you tried)
You don't get it? (yes)You don't get it huh? (yes) of the three, take advantage,(that's horrible) just take advantage of wuh..."I UOOOOO7just say I'm sorry and move on" ah that's our basis, which is uh obviously, that's horrible, and how about wild spirit talk, just whatever. had to even defined (confusing) chaos total anything. It's been bad enough but now the idea is to make it right in all three. Now the chan the uh, uh grace gives us the chance to take advantage, there's no way around it. and you'll hea, you see a lot about that, hear and see a lot and and you realize it already?(yes) Grace says our salvation is already finished. We already have it. There's nothing left. There is nothing to work for. He said, "It is finished" and...that's it, it's all over. The problem is how do you react to it. Now, His chosen, the elect are so thankful that they have this salvation guaranteed, that they react in thankfulness, while the others react, you name it. But the real ones appreciate and wouldn't dream of taking advantage and are so thankful for the easy basis. Thereby prove who we are. Starting to make sense to you(yeah)We oughta get into this whole pack here called called , The Beginning of a right view and balance. I'll just read thru these things, a lot of notes, and we gotta study em..sitting up. On the one hand, once saved always saved. On the other hand, going round and round "Am I going to earn salvation by my faithfulness?" Now God ke,grace is the key to the right approach,
(More the head bone is attached to the neck bone talk)

the right balance. How do we arrive at the right balance between security in our salvation and our need and responsibility to walk by faith...and led by God's Spirit. And it really is God's Spirit, not me having fun. Now, how do we arrive at the right balance. "Right" in quotation marks, what God calls "right." which means security in our salvation, uh need and responsibility to walk by faith, and being led by God's Spirit. (all three). and here's another point that uh may sound strange, another thing will grow upon you. It isn't how faithful you are, it isn't how well you use your faith, that isn't, the most important thing is whether you have faith or not. Everyone, everyone who has faith is justified. Are you aware of that? While we're on the subject, let me tell you another one. However much I have sold this one, now what a shame ..Faith..(end of cut 7)( CUT 8
(Notice the one thing lacking in all of this type of talk throughout the whole session. Not once does he say we all need to seek God for the answers. Showing that he hasnít repented of his ďerrorĒ at all. The correct answer would have been if he was even a bit serious was letís seek God and draw near and see what he shows us to do with this wreck of a fellowship. But does that ever even cross into his mind? No not once.)That to me is the highlight and final word on this whole thing. ďThe church that never sought God but only cared what Stewart thoughtĒ

Stewart: now what a shame. Faith is a seed. much did, pathetic. Faith is not a seed. However, much did, did I sell that one(yes, seed of faith). Faith is not a seed. The truth is, the bible says, that we were assigned a measure of faith, each
(more blathering)

(end of CUT 8)

And, His chosen ones, my sheep hear my voice, they react to His call by faith automatically. We have it, not all men have faith. But...all His chosen do. You have faith and when you hear the gospel, you respond to it by faith thereby beginning to prove who you are. while the others, "it did not meet with faith in the hearers and it was of no benefit to them. We're gonna have to get into that. That's one of the, one of the bases of telling who you are. Do you have faith? Are you of those who still have faith or have you lost it? Now, you gotta decide. We are not of those who shrink back and are destroyed but have faith, have it. We're justified by believing in Jesus. And we continue to be justified by faith. Now here's uh statement, something like this. By the measure of faith that was assign us long ago we respond to His call to come to Him and receive our measure of grace, perhaps we already received it. So receive grace which is always sufficient for us. Then by our faith we begin to realize that we are His chosen and elect. And this faith leads us to follow Him then. Not to earn salvation but as the normal result of salvation that has already been seen to exist and is further seen through faith. Now something like that. We're gonna find out.
(Something like that. Something like that. Something like that) Did I mention something like that enough? Oh and we are going to get into it.

Stewart: I wonder the more evangelical a church is the more imbalance there is. Wonder if that's the rule. The price of fervency and evangelism is error
(Oh gosh that is too funny. The more serious you are about it the more likely you are to be in error. Good one Steve)
I wonder if that is eh..that's just one to consider.
( No that is one to forget. How about the more you listen to someone who uses seriousness to enslave you the more likely you are to have been deceived)Again I am reminded of my little children of who I am in much travail till Christ be formed in you.

Stewart: "Free" is a grace word, one of the words around grace, "free." And being set..."free is a grace word being set free by and through grace is one of the fundamentals. We were set free by grace. Does that ring a bell?(( yeah)) not really((murmuring)) not really okay not really)
Cause we were robbed of Freedom and instead given fervent tasks to do).
But these will grow on you. Being set free by and through grace. For freedom Christ has set you free and don't use it to take advantage. Nevertheless he has set us free and it's over and done with. And we will prove who we are, if we value what he's done. The truth is we must be led by His Spirit to walk by faith in His saving grace. that's the sentence putting them together. The truth is we must be led by His Spirit, to walk by faith in His saving grace. Grace is the basis, but faith is how we operate. The gospel is the statement, Romans is the explanation, and the letters are the application.
Notice now how much clearer he suddenly is. Like he knew all along what the deal was and how easily he slips in and out of being clueless. This man knew what he was doing during this whole meeting is my theory just as he knew what he was doing all along.)

Stewart: Yeah ya come from grace in interpreting the New Testament, something I never did, try to interpret the New Testament.
(Never applied the color code to the new testament? Realy???)

Stewart: Now that I mention it, now I'm being double cautious now
(Very funny. The hallmark of his reign has been his utter recklessness.
, but uh, the olive tree has something to do with grace. Whether it is Jesus...ah...grace working through Jesus, we are the branches, there's some connection in some way. We're gonna have to look for that. All that you do, do out of thankfulness that He has called you, justified you, supplied you with faith, and that you are His chosen, if you see these things are true in you. That is,
(How can anyone see these things in ourselves when you flood us with doubt worry and fear? So once again notice how the ďstandardĒ comes out and how you MUST achieve it. Again no seeking God WE must do it. The error is being repeated right before your eyes. And how often in churches do they preach freedom only to take it away at the end of the sermon in some fashion)
"has He called you?" "has He justified you and given you faith?
(Hey you jerk you just said you robbed us for 20 years now you are questioning us like you always do. And yes he is a jerk)I donít have to prove anything to you thou waterless stream!!!!!!! NOT GUILTY!!! You accuser of the brethren you worthless soul)
((murmuring)) That right there is is proof that we are the elect then. We have to go into various ones of these and find them all so that we have confidence, real confidence and no false confidence.
(Here he is building the basis higher and higher again)
yeah Faith in His promise and it doesn't even mention grace. Heh

Stewart: By grace, His making a way and His decision, those are grace, ahh parts of what grace is. What is grace? That's a hard one.
(No it is not difficult. All ways making something simple seem difficult as a way to take advantage0
We have some uh..dictionaries here, we could go into. Is it more correct to say "relying on God's grace" then "relying on God?" or vice versa? We have to find out.
(Why Isn't it relying on Godís grace how can you separate them?)
How do you rely on Him except for His gift basis. Now grace something like a gift basis. Some connection, some way. While I'm on it. I still can't believe I walked in here and I actually even spelled it out I actually pushed it and said, "Is it wrong to rely on faith. Is it wrong to do it?" And you still went for it. Even with the "Is it wrong to..." right?(yeah) Think about that? I mean that's a red flag isn't it?(yes....nobody wagged) is it wrong to rely on faith? just think about that. Now uh,(unclear) the heart of the grace issue is the very fact that it's not by grace we're saved it's through grace. That one word makes a huge difference. We watch for that. You'll never see saved by faith in the Bible. We have them all written out here, all the combinations and words, how many. Saved by faith(huh) in bold letters twice. Relying on Jesus means relying on His grace a lot. There is no relying on Jesus without His grace. It isn't really relying on Him. Maybe good intentions and He's merciful.
(Lotta words that equal to a greater point. This clown doesnít know Jesus at all and is obviously at least to me making all this up as he goes)

Stewart: But it's wrong but He supplies more grace. If you were blind you would have no guilt. Well, we've been blind to His grace. That doesn't stop Him from supplying all the more though. (thank you Jesus) So learn a lesson. The order(clearing throat) the order saved by His grace, led by His Spirit, walking by faith. Those are the 3 that are necessary. They have to be rightly related and operating accordingly in our lives and in our church. Certainly among the older ones. Now the younger ones, well...the next lamb that you find...and another thing..this expression "leading someone to Jesus" is there any validity in that expression? Is that total...uh....we have to consider that. Another thing eh...Gayle has been watching me (clearing throat) Last few days uh (end of cut 10)
(Is this the harbinger of what is to come? No more salvation? No more leading to Jesus?)

Stewart: speaking to unsaved about God's grace and the reaction, amazing reaction that that causes, it's very good at least uh what ai, what I have seen that's a slight matter we have to get into. Everyone of these especially to older people. Again, the younger people uh with 18 year olds, what did we used to say? (unclear) doesn't matter. God's grace, witnessing, making Jesus known to older people such as your parents.(yeah) now Here's a comment, "Righteousness comma Justified comma and Faith in the same verse or next to it in every case in Romans. Almost every case in Romans. That pattern, Righteousness, Justification, and Faith. Not surprising but uh we're going to look closely at it. Grace is given to us, in many verses, it's received by us, also in many verses. Faith increases but it's a measure assigned in the first place. That everyone who has faith maybe justified. Remember, everyone who has faith not everyone does (end of cut11)
( more gibberish)And did he ever get ďintoĒthese things or is it all just more things this man said he would do that he never did)

Stewart: And is it true,ah I think it is true that grace grace meets with faith only in the elect.
(Always blathering about things he should not speak of. And always talking about the elect to again grasp control of the fear reigns It is obvious he is all over the place in his ďteachingĒ but yet he wants to discss the elect?)
Grace meets with faith. That's one of the tests therefore.
(Always with the tests. Problem is you need a teacher with the right answer to grade the tests and he just admits he flunked every course ever)
Is faith at work in your life and is grace at work in your life. We react with thankfulness. That's our response. The Old Testament version is "Because you did not serve the Lord with joy and gladness by reason of the abundance of all good things"... it's physical in the Old but spiritual in the new. But we react with thankfulness. Not because he gave us a new (unclear) but uh, out of thankfulness that uh we indeed are saved, are His. To him who has will more be given. To him who has not, even what he has will be taken away. The uh other verse, the other thing being "To him has election, will more grace be given and to him who has not the election, even what he has will be taken away. Now there's some correspondence there. analogy. God intends to save the elect. He intends to save the elect no matter what."Of those whom thou gavest me not one is lost but the son of perdition." Remember the elect react with thankfulness and the others take advantage. We have to get into that a lot. However much grace the elect's 25 years of not valuing his grace or whatever...Time of grace, time of need, whatever it is He supplies it. My grace is sufficient, is what He said.
(Again a lot of fear talk. Be afraid everyone of impending doom be very afraid)

Now here's another one.
(No not another one please stopÖ..)
Is this actually the the deeper view of Salvation
or is this the only right one that that we must give the lambs?
(It is very presumptuous at this point to consider lambs lol. The only people we had any success with in the past years was runaways and good luck telling which ones of those just said a prayer to get a meal and a place to stay)
Or how much of each? That is the unsaved 18 year old. How much grace? gotta consider that. Tell em the truth, of course, tell them the truth. How much of it though? How soon?
(So much for the lamb lessons lol. Those things are tainted all over by Stewartís stench (fear views))
and uh Can only speak one word at a time, present so much at a time. How do know what the balance is there? That's one of the ones we gotta find out. You know uh, you say 137, we used to have bible studies, yeah, for 3 years straight, every night, it was John chapter 3. For three years straight, every night, or was it 5 years straight. At least 3 years straight. Well, that's good and bad.
(It seemed good but as it turned out you were bad hence those who followed youÖÖ.. See the part of the website where it says if Stewart Traill was these things what did it make you)

Well, for what it's worth, "by faith" is 35 times in the Bible, 19 of which are in Hebrews 11. "Through faith" is 22 times and we have the rest written out here. How about the basis of genuine confidence? Any ideas about it?

(When I was at this meeting it seemed prophetic and afterward I have always believed it was the spirit. This says Paul but was it Paul? I donít know. I couldnít tell at the time but based on what I know of Paul Szostak and how he stayed there I do find it a bit hard to believe.

Either way it was God I believe through whomever LOUDLY proclaiming it is finished. This shook me and I looked around and was amazed that almost no one reacted or turned it seemed. I immediately looked over in the direction it came from and then back to Stewart who seemed to not even register it. The reaction of the group always seemed very odd to me. As you can see below it didnítí stop Stewart from continuing as if it was not said

Stewart: How bout we know that we are in Christ because we know if we're fully going to Him, all that we are both good and bad, both, as with no kind of holding out
(again the disease you canít hold out everyone got to give everything oh but with a little grace this time yea right lol basically these little hidden gems are the real teaching.. To those who have been trained it says everything stays the same forget everything else I said because you canít hold out well good luck trying to embrace grace while feeling as if 100% of yourself has to be fully there.))
bad attitudes and we know he won't cast us out because that's his promise. therefore that we abide in Him. That's the source of confidence. That's the first source right there. Now, joy that we are the elect,
(Would that they knew the joy of the Lord. The freedom of the Lord and the blessings of the Lord)
how does that sound?((murmuring.. yeah good) that we are realize we are His chosen, that we have solid reason to say so. That's uh, that's where joy comes from.
(Joy comes from being in line with God. It is one of the signs of that God is with you along with a happy and peaceful heart from which joy can proceed. So if you have a dirty heart good luck explaining your way to joy)

Now when they went out, He sent them out two by two. And they were out, casting out demons and they came back..."Lord, even the demons are subject to us." And Jesus uh as you know, He said uh, "Don't rejoice at that but rather that your names are written in the Book of Life."(yeah) What does that show?(voices....Jesus is in control, doesn't depend upon my will or exertion)) one at a time.

Brother: I think it shows that He doesn't want us just to be thankful and rejoicing for the things He does through us and for us but that He added grace, He has grace toward us, He has , you know, He fills us for having Jesus in us, that's what he really wants us to be thankfulfor.

Stewart: First there was a hundred at once and now there's one only. What the matter the 99 are ashamed of what they said or what?

Brother: I think that, it's nothing that we do.

Stewart: Why do He say that?

Brother: Because Jesus, because God said, He reached man not man reached to God.

Stewart: Why'd He say that?

Brother: I think it's because it's that they're the elect, not what God has given him but that there the elect, they're going to heaven.

Stewart: Next

Brother: out of motivation, to being thankful

Brother: so we wouldn't be motivated by going out just to see, that they ah have more power than these people, that was the wrong attitude...that they would be that they were glad that they were saved by grace?

Brother: That, don't get into the wine they get right now but get more into the hope of going to be in heaven, get more fully into that

Brother: That it's by grace that they're names were written in thebook of life rather than that they were casting out demons.

Brother: Take, Take encouragement from seeing Jesus do things in our life, but it should just be ah rejoicing that that's a sign we are His elect.

Stewart: Listen, He also said that "many will say that' did we not cast out demons' and He will say, 'I never knew you' ((yeah)). What's the point?

Brother: That the basis isn't the amount of work that Jesus was doing through them but that the basis was through grace. The basis is their right relationship with Jesus be of grace and not works.

Brother: well not that they were something of themselves but that He chose them(agreement)

Brother: that's right, that He chose, He chose them you know by His grace

Stewart: But where's the connection?

Brother: I was thinking that they're not saved through their works but they're saved by His grace and that they should be doing from that and that they should take confidence in that they're also saved and that they're with Him and that they don't have to turn.

Brother: you were chosen by God?

Brother: if We're, we're thankful that and rejoicing that Jesus didgive us salvation then we'll be motivated from that rather than looking to any works

Brother: So we hope in Jesus and the resurrection instead of looking to doing it here the piety act.

Stewart: Well, it's really rejoice in the proof of who you are that you are. right? They were rejoicing at the results, right?(yeah yeah)sound familiar?(yes)Rather than what what res uh zuh what it proves about them. And He directed them to what it proves about them.
(He was saying the opposite of the last 20 years of Cobu. Where we never rejoiced but were always put in fear that we were not the elect.)

Stewart: what what res uh zuh what it proves about them. And He directed them to what it proves about them. Told them to rejoice in that.(thank you Jesus) that faith is at work(yeah) and other things. Our view has to change and fairly dramatically.
(Would that it had. Only 3-4 days later Stewart was crushing different brothers who had heard about the meeting and followed up.)
It's in the view of grace that you'll come to see that everything makes sense. And, a lot of Christian life is wrapped up in in living by faith that in fact God'sgrace has specifically been extended to me. It's not blind faith either. All works have to be the result of thankfulness for grace not trying to earn something. The result of thankfulness, the desire to please Him and the evidence of His promise at in me. Any questions? Let's hear it. How much of you is spent trying to fig.....the amount of faith that you have, concerned with the amount rather than rejoicing over the fact that you have it and what that proves (a lot)
(It takes no faith to blindly follow a cult leader)
If you have faith in Him that proves that you've been justified by Him. You realize that? However it wouldn't mean anything if you weren't centered in grace. These things would mean nothing. Yes, here's what He was really saying, "Don't rejoice that you have faith to cast out demons, rather rejoice because the fact that you have faith which means that your names are written in the book of life. Therefore, don't rejoice if you can do some work by faith and then feel that you're saved because of these works. Rather rejoice that the works complete the faith that justified you in the first place, that proves who you are. It's the fact that we have faith that is the good news because that's the proof that we are His. one of them. And there's no more need to try to convince Jesus to save you. it's the... trying to convince Jesus to save them rather than noticing that that He has saved them. (right). Both in His word and in your life.

Stewart : Then again, there's the score card issue. Now how's the score card going? ah 263 by the way, 37 more, thank you Jesus (thank you Jesus)another score card(laughing)
( perhaps mocking the whole score card thing which we know in hindsight is not Godly?)
300 now, gotta open the doors now. Look at this, looks huge in there. Look at that.
( He was speaking about the whole other part of the room not filled with people. He actually seems to think his little confession was going to bring a lot of people back. That was discussed in more detail the next day.
Thank you Jesus.How's the score card going?(not so good, murmuring) all right (better) now you score card people, let me ask you this. ah How do you tell the difference, what is your means in your score card for telling the difference between a big sin and a little sin? What have you decided, since you've obviously decided something? How do you go about it? hold on, You started it. I mean, You must have some way of doing it, how do you, how do you decide? What is a big sin and what is a little sin? Or uh little sins don't make it on the score card is that it?(no)
( more taunting. Didnít you guys just score card that I got over on you for a big sin? I was on you for tons of little sins but I just slipped a whopper by you.)