The topic of this page is a concern of ours that we've discussed many, many times. This opening exerpt was taken from our "cruelties" page, and in it we believe it examines how and why it can be cruel to throw out the phrase and expectation to "just move on."
When someone has left a legalistic and controlling group, they may feel the need to discuss what they experienced that still causes them stress to this day, and when others turn and say to them that they, "should just move on." it can come across as a cruelty.
The concern is that if our brethren had the ability to "just move on" from all the deeply residual stresses that Cobu and Stewart Traill impressed upon our young hearts and minds as we were just entering the challenges of young adulthood, then we probably would have!
The scripture says,
~ Mat 12:34 For out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks.
Why would anyone prevent someone else from confessing what is on their heart?
Isn't this what God does ~ listens to us?
Shouldn't we listen to one another, if one has a need to be heard? Isn't that why there are so many therapists and counselors?
To tell someone who is hurting "to just move on" is not kind or helpful. To the person who is suffering and wanting to get what's been eating at them off their chest, to hear someone say to them "just move on" it's as if they are is saying: "Can't you please just shut up about it."
Telling someone who hasn't been able to get beyond the overwhelming thoughts and distresses left over from being part of an oppressive society that they should "just move on" offers them no insight into how they can accomplish that counsel.
It's common knowledge that you can never heal from something if you don't have the freedom to even discuss it.
One observation interesting to note, was that we found those who were making the loudest request of others to "just move on" seemed to be the very ones who've been the most active on the xcobu sites! If they've "just moved on" themselves, then why would they even have a need to stay connected on the "xcobu" sites at all? There is absolutely nothing wrong with people who have a common history to stay connected, but why extend conditions that not even those on the xCobu sites are able to keep?
We are all about making ourselves available to those who need to be heard, just like we ourselves had a need to be heard. We are exceedingly greatful to our loving heavenly Father who helped us to realize that we were worthy of being heard, no matter what was stressing us. It was due to this blessing, the realizing that God's love for us includes what is currently stressing our hearts and our minds.
The blessing of realizing that the Cobu way of ignoring your own truth and pasting on a fake smile and going out to "make Jesus known" when we came from a group where the leader confessed that he "missed grace" for 25 years ~ that he didn't even know Jesus, full of grace and truth at all ~ was one of the most profound and eye opening blessings to grasp. Cobu was all about being lied to about who we were to God, because Stewart Traill made us feel worthless! Learning that our own truth has value, should be heard, should be embraced, and should be lifted up to a loving heavenly Father through the grace and truth of our Lord Jesus.
Anyone who has a need to be heard please send us an email at : info@freefromthegrip.com and we will be more than willing to listen to whatever you have a need to share or if you would just like us to pray for you, just send us an email and we will. The Lord our God is most interested in the troubles of your heart, as he has been most faithful in removing the stresses that we have had the faith to confide.
In our years of praying with and for other xCobu brothers and sisters who still have residule stresses that have made "moving on" difficult for many, we've compiled a list of the many and various conflicts and complications from having been involved in Cobu. If you can think of other issues that we left out, send us an email and we'll be glad to include what we missed. Thank you for taking the time to read this page.
Just move on?
How can we just move on when it is just not that easy?
How can we just move on when we gave so much ourselves to this man and his cult?
How can we just move on when we invested so much time and effort to his cause?
How can we just move on when we gave the best we had to give?
How can we just move on when we spent the best years of our lives there?
How can we just move on when what we're trying to leave behind has been indelibly etched upon souls?
How can we just move on when what we're trying to escape has consumed our hearts?
How can we just move on when we his thought patterns control our minds?
How can we just move on when we can't talk about Stewart Tanner Traill?
How can we just move on when we can't even mention his name?
How can we just move on when we won't talk about the things that are eating us alive?
How can we just move on when we shut out all the evil things he said about us?
How can we just move on when we just ignore all the harmful things he did to us?
How can we just move on when we have buried such incredibly painful experiences?
How can we just move on when our hearts are crying for a little relief?
How can we just move on when we are frozen in fear?
How can we just move on when we can't put one foot in front of the other?
How can we just move on when we have so many unresolved issues?
How can we just move on when we think it is good to ignore such an important part of our past?
How can we just move on when we can't talk about our Big Brother?
How can we just move on when we are just obeying his voice to just move on?
How can we just move on when we won't be honest enough to address our questions about Stewart Traill?
How can we just move on when we don't know what to do with all the anger?
How can we just move on when we just can't bear to hear the word of the Lord?
How can we just move on when we are crippled inside?
How can we just move on when we are lying to ourselves?
How can we just move on when we won't look at the Big Lie we lived?
How can we just move on when we won't entertain the possibility that what he taught us was a Big Lie?
How can we just move on when what he lived was a big lie?
How can we just move on when we have sworn by the Code of Omerta?
How can we just move on when we refuse to talk about all the pain?
How can we just move on when we refuse to explore the reasons for the untold collateral damage?
How can we just move on when we think it's loyalty not to talk about our self-proclaimed Bible interpreter?
How can we just move on when we won't talk about our false church?
How can we just move on when we turn a blind eye to our shameful fellowship?
How can we just move on when we just rebuke our fellows for talking about the dirty laundry?
How can we just move on when we are just not honest about our past?
How can we just move on when we chastise others for trying to openly deal with the past?
How can we just move on when we just won't consider the possibility that there's a healing balm for the hurts of Cobu?
How can we just move on when we do all in our power to forget the unforgettable?
How can we just move on when we lie to ourselves that we have successfully moved on?
How can we just move on when we have been programmed to believe so many lies about God?
How can we just move on when our great exemplar still whispers in our ears?
How can we just move on when we believe that facing these facts is dwelling on more pain?
How can we just move on when we think being honest about how we feel is inviting more misery?
How can we just move on when we don't have the faith to receive the blessing of getting free from the curses?
How can we just move on when we won't look at all the curses with which he cursed us?
How can we just move on when we are afraid to go back and learn from the past?
How can we just move on when we mistakenly hope that it will just go away?
How can we just move on when what was 'so long ago' is ready to spring upon us at any moment?
How can we just move on when false hope has made our hearts sick?
How can we just move on when we haven't gotten free from the past?
How can we just move on when Stewart Traill still has a grip on us?
How can we just move on when the past remains such an influence on the present?
How can we just move on when we've been baptized into such a diabolical scheme?
How can we just move on when we were immersed into false teaching?
How can we just move on while the voices of the past will not leave us alone?
How can we just move on when the plan of the evil mastermind has been implemented so thoroughly in our past?
How can we just move on when our past is stronger than our present?
How can we just move on when our past holds us hostage?
How can we just move on when our past laughs at our attempts to elude it?
How can we just move on when it's impossible to forget such a horrible legacy?
How can we just move on when we are really outraged inside?
How can we just move on when our anger is misplaced?
How can we just move on when we accept the blame for such ruin, waste, and devastation?
How can we just move on when we are not allowed to vent our anger upon the real culprit of our predicament ?
How can we just move on when there is just no place to move to in order to get away from the misery?
How can we just move on when we can't get deprogrammed from what we're trying to escape?
How can we just move on when we can't hear the voice of him who provides the way of escape?
How can we just move on when we just want to stay where we are?
How can we just move on when we really believe we're not in any danger where we are?
How can we just move on when he has conditioned us to complacency?
How can we just move on when we still listen to the lies of the voice of Stewart Traill?
How can we just move on when wherever we go, there we are the same as before?
How can we just move on when we think it's sinful to hold someone accountable for his sins against us?
How can we just move on when our master has forbidden it?
How can we just move on when we are too blind to see the grace is God?
How can we just move on when we're to deaf to hear his voice of peace?
How can we just move on when we just can't trust that God loves us?
How can we just move on when the wisdom of God is so foreign to us?
How can we just move on when we are so used to rejecting any discipline?
How can we just move on when we are too fearful to touch our pain?
How can we just move on when we are too proud to ask our true Shepherd for guidance?
How can we just move on when we are too self-sufficient to seek the the wonderful Counselor?
How can we just move on when we still seek the corrupt counsel of our false teacher?
How can we just move on when we think talking about Stewart Traill is hate speech?
How can we just move on when we can't tell the difference between hating what was done to us and hating him who did it?
How can we just move on when we really have so much hate inside that we are denying?
How can we just move on when he has taught us to hate the light and love the darkness?
How can we just move on when we are comfortable sitting in darkness?
How can we just move on when we seek more of the darkness with which he filled us?
How can we just move on when we don't see how much we were affected?
How can we just move on when we aren't honest with ourselves or others?
How can we just move on when we think speaking the truth is negative?
How can we just move on while we accuse those who speak the truth, that they are being negative?
How can we just move on from what we still view as largely positive?
How can we just move on from what we hold dear in our hearts?
How can we just move on when we are bound to him who forbids it?
How can we just move on when we are afraid of the voice of the Good Shepherd?
How can we just move on when we're afraid to call an ace an ace?
How can we just move on when we really don't see the need for it?
How can we just move on when what we really mean by that is not allowing the past to embarrass us?
How can we just move on when what we really mean by that is wanting to avoid feeling uncomfortable?
How can we just move on when we are preoccupied with so many other 'important things'?
How can we just move on when we pretend that nothing's wrong?
How can we just move on when we are afraid to look squarely at the past?
How can we just move on when we are overcome by church peer pressure?
How can we just move on when we don't believe in the power to do it?
How can we just move on when we are afraid of offending a severe God?
How can we just move on while we fear the wrath of the king of our past?
How can we just move on while we hold Stewart Traill in such high esteem?
How can we just move on while we still think he's invincible?
How can we just move on when we think that it no longer matters?
How can we just move on when we believe that God will not hold him accountable?
How can we just move on when we don't believe God will do good or evil?
How can we just move on while we are buffeted by every wind of doctrine?
How can we just move on when we are dismayed at every turn?
How can we just move on when we stumble in confusion?
How can we just move on when he still has us where he wants us?
How can we just move on when we've never admitted that we were raised in a cult?
How can we just move on when we can't confide the secrets of our souls with our loved ones?
How can we just move on when we have shut down our true emotions?
How can we just move on when the silence is deafening?
How can we just move on when we are filled with denial?
How can we just move on when when we have listened to lies for so long that we believe even our own lies?
How can we just move on when the truth has not set us free?
How can we just move on when only our address has changed?
How can we just move on when we think we've taken our burdens to the Lord, but they inevitably find us again?
How can we just move on when we have fallen into a pit from which we cannot get out?
How can we just move on when we are as blind as the one we've followed?
How can we just move on when all the reading, all our thinking, and all our writing is just empty words, chasing after the wind?
How can we just move on when the one calling us thither is not the Lord God Almighty!
How can we just move on when we have not gotten any answers to the real questions?
How can we just move on when we have not gotten any solutions to our dilemma?
How can we just move on when what may have been a cure for our disease has been wantonly dismissed as snake oil?
How can we just move on when we have despised the still small voice within?
How can we just move on when we have despised the loving discipline of the Lord?
How can we just move on when we so easily despise prophecy that could help us?
How can we just move on when we are the same as when we started our journey?
How can we just move on when we don't see how the disease has progressed and is threatening what remains and is at the point of death?
How can we just move on when we have hardened our hearts to gracious warnings?
How can we just move on when we have seared our consciences?
How can we just move on when we don't see how far from grace we have fallen?
How can we just move on when we have lost our first love?
How can we just move on when our hearts have been stolen and the keys hidden away?
How can we just move on when all we want to do is silence the voices that torment us?
How can we just move on when it isn't something you can't figure out with your brain?
How can we just move on by just hoping we're going to escape his terror?
How can we just move on when we're just crossing our fingers for luck?
How can we just move on when we are lost?
How can we just move on when we can't see the forest for the trees?
How can we just move on when we are still going around in circles?
How can we just move on when we can't bring ourselves to cry out to the Lord in humility?
How can we just move on when we are unable to trust anyone but the one who continues to abuse us?
How can we just move on when it is really driving us crazy?
How can we just move on when when we won't tell the Physician where it hurts?
How can we just move on when we think we've already been healed?
How can we just move on when we are filled with his vitriol?
How can we just move on when we say, Just forgive Brother Stewart?
How can we just move on when we call our ongoing trauma just a phase of our Christian life?
How can we just move on when we have no life?
How can we just move on when we have no Spirit?
How can we just move on when we don't know the Savior of our souls?
How can we just move on when we cannot trust our heavenly Father?
How can we just move on when we have been scattered to the ends of the earth?
How can we just move on when we haven't a clue how to get home?
How can we just move on when we don't know what a real home even feels like?
How can we just move on when we don't have a clue?
How can we just move on when are practiced in stubbornness and rebellion?
How can we just move on when when we ignore the pleadings of the Lord?
How can we just move on when we say Peace, peace, but there is no peace?
How can we just move on when there are roadblocks everywhere?
How can we just move on when we've been bitten by deadly serpents?
How can we just move on when we're trapped in the spider's web?
How can we just move on when there is terror on every side?
How can we just move on when we don't know the basic tenets of the faith we proudly proclaim?
How can we just move on when we refuse to admit we've been fooled?
How can we just move on when we refuse to see the devastation all around?
How can we just move on when we refuse to be angry with him who robbed us blind?
How can we just move on when we refuse to talk about the rapist at large?
How can we just move on when we refuse to look at a mound of increasing criminal evidence?
How can we just move on when we refuse to cry to the Lord from our heart?
How can we just move on when our hearts are bowed down in despair?
How can we just move on when we secretly long for the affection of a pervert?
How can we just move on when we refuse to put two and two together?
How can we just move on when we refuse to connect the dots that are staring us in the face?
How can we just move on when we refuse the gentle waters of heaven?
How can we just move on when we refuse to see the obvious implications of having been deprived of the grace of God?
How can we just move on when the one we entrusted our very lives to-- missed grace!
How can we just move on when we refuse to be disturbed about how he continues to mock us for our stupidity?
How can we just move on when our deadbeat dad is living in luxury?
How can we just move on when our illegitimate father is abusing our sisters?
How can we just move on when our would-be role model is emasculating our brothers?
How can we just move on when our pastor delights in our confusion and dismay?
How can we just move on when our hireling shepherd ignores the bleating of his sheep?
How can we just move on when our screw-up leader has evil plans for us?
How can we just move on when we refuse to talk about unspeakable cruelty done in the name of the Lord?
How can we just move on when we're more concerned about the praise (or scorn) of men than the praise (and acceptance) of God?
How can we just move on when we refuse to accept that there's nothing left and nothing to move on to?
How can we just move on when his plans for us 'moving on' are not good?
How can we just move on when we have been utterly cursed?
How can we just move on when we have been stripped naked?
How can we just move on when we refuse to speak evil of evil!
How can we just move on when we call evil good and good evil?
How can we just move on when we just hate those who talk about exploring how to do it?
How can we just move on when we are bereft of the fruits of the Spirit?
How can we just move on when we are ignorant of the gifts of the Spirit?
How can we just move on when we have been deprived of all good things?
How can we just move on when we are still being victimized?
How can we just move on when we don't know what forgiveness of Stewart Traill must entail?
How can we just move on when we cannot fathom how to forgiveness such wickedness?
How can we just move on when talk of forgiveness, of the atrocities done to us, helps no one?
How can we just move on when we cannot forgive and we cannot forget?
How can we just move on when the gloom and doom of Cobu is so palpable?
How can we just move on when we don't understand our right, and our need, to be resentful for all the evil he did to us?
How can we just move on when we cannot repent from the sin of Cobu?
How can we just move on when we cannot repent from embracing the iniquity of Stewart Tanner Traill?
How can we just move on when we cannot confess to our part in the fiasco?
How can we just move on from something that has in no way been resolved?
How can we just move on from the snake that is ready to strike again?
How can we just move on from the sin that is crouching at the door?
How can we just move on from the dog that is nipping at our heels?
How can we just move on while we're telling others to just shut up about something they're trying to deal with?
How can we just move on when we're screaming at others to just move on?
How can we just move on when we declare lies such as, Stewart and COBU were nothing?
How can we just move on when we fear the name of Stewart Traill more than the name of the Lord?
How can we just move on when we honor the name of Stewart Traill more than the name of the Lord?
How can we just move on when we lift up the name of Stewart Traill and do not know the name of the Lord?
How can we just move on when his name is still written on our hearts?
How can we just move on when we're afraid to turn to the left or to the right?
How can we just move on when we are paralysed at ground zero?
How can we just move on when we have given him ultimate power over us?
How can we just move on, pretending that's it's not a big deal?
How can we just move on while we do not accept that Stewart Traill will be the issue until he is confronted?
How can we just move on while our tormenter still torments us?
How can we just move on while our tormenter taunts us? "I will always be the issue with those who leave."
How can we just move on when we've never gotten past the round and round?
How can we just move on to the free marketplace of ideas when we're still sold out to the cockamamie ideas of Stewart Traill?
How can we just move on when the marketplace of ideas doesn't even touch the damage that we have incurred?
How can we just move on to the freedom of an open society, when we are still inside the box of the exclusive cult?
How can we just move on to the blessings of the word of God when we are still committed to the traditions of a man?
How can we just move on to the right to disagree with Cobu when we still believe we must all agree on the teachings of its founder?
How can we just move on when he is still controlling the game we've played with him?
How can we just move on when he has us checked at every turn?
How can we just move when he's got us in a stalemate?
How can we just move on when we think we are the better men for just moving on and letting go?
How can we just move on when we just say, It's all about Jesus!
How can we just move on when it really had nothing to do with Jesus?
How can we just move on when we look elsewhere to cast the blame?
How can we just move on when we blame our families for not raising us right?
How can we just move on when we blame ourselves, even though we gave it our best efforts?
How can we just move on when we blame it on Cobu, since we were all HIS disciples?
How can we just move on when we don't see how wrong our thinking is?
How can we just move on when we think his learning curve was a work in progress?
How can we just move on when we think the browbeating and public shaming could have been handled better?
How can we just move on when our hearts still go out to Stewart Tanner Traill?
How can we just move on when we're 'sure that this is not what he had in mind'?
How can we just move on when we believe that 'a fellowship with such vomitus enjoyed great success'?
How can we just move on when we say 'maybe it was all just a test'?
How can we just move on when we admit that we just don't know?
How can we just move on when we think that 'it was a difficult birth but without that midwife it may have been futile'?
How can we just move on when indeed it was one great exercise in futility?
How can we just move on when we 'pray for restoration, to stand for the truth in unity with our brothers and sisters once again, as we did so long ago'?
How can we just move on when we 'prepare for it with study, fairness, and reason'?
How can we just move on when we 'belonged to this same organization and applaud the spirit of it'?
How can we just move on when we 'just say these four words out loud a few times, "It's all about Jesus."'?
How can we just move on when we say, Get your eyes off Christians and churches and the failures of leaders (even mine!)?
How can we just move on when we say, Remember who got you started in the first place, and who will be there for you at the finish line: Jesus!?
How can we just move on saying, I am over Cobu and Stewart Traill?
How can we just move on, saying, I can't be the judge of Stewart Traill?
How can we just move on, saying, Don't talk to cobu people, just pray them out?
How can we just move on, thinking that 'we helped people as we went out “Making Jesus Known”'?
How can we just move on, justifying how we preached, misinterpreted the Scriptures, and led people into our cult, with: 'But we also introduced many people to Christ and His word'?
How can we just move on, referencing how Paul 'was able to rejoice because Christ was being preached.'?
How can we just move on, thinking we're like the disciples in Acts 19: 'who had inaccurate and incomplete knowledge of what they were doing' but 'went on their way continuing to follow the same Christ but with more accurate knowledge'?
How can we just move on, saying, 'His word will go forth and accomplish its work... in spite of our efforts, even if our attempts are off-centered, uninformed or even from wrong motives.'?
How can we just move on saying, 'when all is said and done I think that we did help people. I would not characterize our "making Jesus known" as making people twice a child of hell"'?
How can we just move on, saying, 'The charge of "Pharisee" is a very strong charge... Jesus was being Messianic, a role we should not presume to fill'?
How can we just move on, saying, I wouldn't flatter ourselves with holding that kind of authority.?
How can we just move on, saying, Those of us who came to Christ because of someone from COBU sure wouldn't say we were harmed.?
How can we just move on, saying, He had me there for some reason... maybe to protect me from the world and choices I would have made that would have been detrimental.?
How can we just move on, when we have no reply to his audacious lie, If I hadn't grabbed you, what then?
How can we just move on when we are taken in by his lie, You better be glad I did; the alternative is worse.?
How can we just move on when we excuse his atrocities with, We dont know what our lives would have been if we didn't experience cobu.?
How can we just move on, saying, Cobu was far from perfect and we were taught some harmful things but God never forgot any of us and all these years later we have a true relationship with God.?
How can we just move on, saying, cobu may have protected us from horrible choices or wrong paths we could have gone down...?
How can we just move on from such a horrible choice? from such a wrong path?
How can we just move on, saying, God chose to use the brothers and sisters of cobu to introduce me to him, and many others as well.?
How can we just move on with such logic as, I have found that going over the same piece of trail over and over does not eliminate trail.?
How can we just move on, saying, My husband said, "COBU is one of the most dangerous cults according to the FBI". My mouth dropped... ?
How can we just move on, saying of some, COBU still has ahold of their mind.?
How can we just move on when COBU still has ahold of ours too?
How can we just move on, when we say, Well, hopefully just the good part... We did learn a lot about Jesus & the Bible,?
How can we just move on when many of us do 'feel a bit of pride in that'?
How can we just move on when we do not see that ours was indeed a very dangerous cult?
How can we just move on when we ignore such warnings as, If these traits sound familiar to leaders, groups, sects, or organizations known to you, then expect those who associate with them to live in despair and to suffer even if they don’t know it yet.?
How can we just move on having learned to bear it well enough as he slapped us in the face.?
How can we just move on when we ignore the warning of a counselor at WellSpring who had counseled a number of X-Cobu folks, and labeled Cobu as the most toxic cult they had ever encountered?
How can we just move on when we accept such fallacies as, Racism was not an issue there, because from what I saw, we treated each other as brothers and sisters.?
How can we just move on, saying, Their numbers are very low, and they seem to not be pushing anything very hard at this point.?
How can we just move on from him and his disciples whom we view as a 'broken down old man and his defunct cult.'?
How can we just move on, saying, I thought you were supposed to see the good in members and all people and not point out flaws.?
How can we just move on, saying, I did not know that mockery was standard fare in the forms of song and text, as teaching material... ?
How can we just move on, saying, Maybe we all suck.?
How can we just move on, saying, I left Cobu lingo by the wayside long ago... Moving on is a good thing.
How can we just move on from the Slough of Despond known as Cobu?
How can we just move on from the oppression of Stewart Tanner Traill?